Friday, January 22, 2010

We Done Good

Recently, a friend of mine and his wife gave birth to their first child.  This friend had once mentioned to me that he didn't really think he'd ever have children, not because they were unable to, but because he thought he wouldn't be a very good dad.  I wholeheartedly disagreed with him and knew that not only would he be a good dad, he'd make a GREAT dad!  During the pregnancy I would ask how things were going and he would quietly say "fine" and didn't make a big deal out of the whole thing, but there was always an underlying sense of excitement in his messages amidst the lack of fanfare.  Recently, when the big day did arrive and he was finally able to let everyone know the exciting news, you could tell, even though it was typed, how very excited he was to have this new little bundle of joy in his life!  His messages where overflowing with a sense of how proud, awed, and truly grateful he was to have this baby in his life and he even typed "We done good" in one of his messages with a darling picture of the baby attached.

"We done good," three simple albeit grammatically incorrect words, but words that make you stop and think, words that make you question.  Have "we" done good?  When a healthy baby is born the phrase is easy, you already know that you "done good," though mostly you are aware that you were blessed with this healthy new life.  Sometimes those who do "everything" right lose a child or have a baby with health issues, but they "done good" too.

Now, don't misunderstand, I'm not one of those people who thinks everyone should have children, or who badgers newly married couples as to when they will be conceiving.  Frankly, it's none of my business and not everyone "wants"  or can have children and I have a number of friends that are quite content to live their lives without children.  But for "me" or I should say "us" since Mr. Tide did have a tiny part in their creation and subsequent upbringing, it has been the greatest gift anyone could bestow upon me...ahem...US!

I was NOT a good pregnant woman, medevaced out by helicopter with our daughter, and then a high risk pregnancy from the get go with our son, the glowing wonderful 9 months that everyone is so sentimental about, was "not" the case for me.  The end result however, was worth every c-section scar, IV, and morning, noon, and night sick minute!

But that brings me back to my original thought...stay with me I usually do get back to them!  How do we know we've "done good"  or are "doing good" as we hurry through life hardly taking the time to even notice that those precious bundles we nervously brought home from the hospital are all grown up now?!

And then I stopped and really thought about this and realized we get acknowledgment through the little things, and that is how we know we did, or are doing, our jobs well.

It's when you get a letter from your beautiful 22 year old daughter that says...

"I'm glad you had fun at your holiday party - the house really looked beautiful.  Of course I'd be proud to call it home no matter what it looked like, but I know that you all have put a lot of energy into it & I'm proud of you!"

Then a few lines later she wrote...

"Thanks for taking the time & effort to raise "Bugs" & me with good ideas about what's important in life (yeah, I don't know where you went wrong with "Bugs," either :-) ).  I'm glad I have a place to go where you all love me for who I am & not what kind of car I drive.  Well, everyone but "Bugs."  He judges me on my car.  But not much else, and that's good with me.  Love you all, Angelfish"

Could any mother receive a note like that and not burst into tears of joy?!  If there is one, then I surely don't want to know them! 

Or the fact the my son doesn't think it's silly that his "nervous nellie" mother wants him (the relatively new driver) to call her each morning when he arrives at school and when he's leaving, because it just makes her feel better.  And that he will go shopping with her when he could be home texting friends or playing a video game, and will still give her a kiss goodbye, even in public!

Every day my children inspire me to be a better person.  When our son joined a local rescue squad it terrified the heck out of me, but I was also immensely proud that he wanted to give back by volunteering his time.  There are so many examples of their generosity that I sometimes have to pinch myself and remember that these are "my" kids!

These wonderful people who do things that make me so proud.  Like our daughter who gives up her Saturday mornings to go out into the rain and cold to "hide" so that Search and Rescue dogs will be better trained at finding people in need.  Or when our son, holds doors and offers to help the elderly load groceries into their cars.

These may not seem like big things to you, but I doubt it, I'm betting donuts to dollars that you all feel the same way.  These little acts of kindness, generosity, wit, and compassion mean the world to us as parents, and for me and Mr. Tide it means we "Done Good!"

Please take a minute and leave me a comment about one of your "done good" moments...and if you don't have children...join in anyway and leave a comment about the things you do that make this world a better place!


  1. Wow...this is such a beau-ti-ful one that I have seen today:) Hope you have a outstanding weekend!


  2. That really is a lovely post. Now that I am a mother I can appreciate everything you said. When I turned 30 and then again when I had my first child, I talked with my mom, and apologized for everything and asked her how the heck she did it all...To me she was supermom.
    Holly @ 504 Main

    Thanks for stopping by my place the other day!

  3. I love this. Your Mom and Dad would also be so proud of you. You can tell they done good too! (Is your daughter in Paris?) --Lili

  4. Thanks everyone!

    Lili, our daughter was in Paris and southern France studying a few years ago, but luckily for us she's much closer to home now! It was fun going to visit her while she was there though!

    Kat :)

  5. I love you!!
    - Your favourite daughter

  6. Wonderful ... how do I know I done good. Hmm. That my children still snuggle in the morning with me? That's all the acknowledgement I desire, for now. With everything else, I just keep on trying. Good thoughts!


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