Friday, February 18, 2011

Blog Hatin'


The photos in this post are not good, and frankly they were never meant to be shared since most of them aren't in focus, but they just seemed appropriate for the topic of this post.




I also want to forewarn you that this post may be offensive to some of you, so read further at your own discretion.



In real life, just as online I've been very fortunate.  I try and treat people the way I hope to be treated and most of the time it works out well.  I've been very lucky to have met so many wonderful people through blogging and to see some amazingly talented men and women through this wonderful thing called the internet.  I had heard horror stories about blog jealousy, nasty emails, and bitter anonymous comments, but I have managed to avoid most of this and frankly I think it's been pure luck.




Over the past few months I've had a few email exchanges or read other blogger's posts about how they haven't been so lucky.  I've heard stories about how people will literally harass other bloggers if they don't follow someone back, or if their blog is becoming too popular, etc.  I've seen mean accusations flying around about people stealing photos and using people's pictures without their permission.  And it's like a match being thrown on a parched field of grain...it spreads like wildfire and leaves devastation in its wake!




I even thought twice before deciding to do this post, wondering if I wouldn't be fanning the flames and likely to cause a bit of drama here on my own blog by even bringing this up.  After all, I have been pretty lucky in avoiding everything but the occasional mean spirited comment.  But then I thought, if I see other bloggers, friends, strangers, whomever suffering the ill effects of this sort of behavior and I turn a blind eye to it, then how am I really any different from those who choose to use the internet as a means of bullying?!  So I decided I would speak out about what I sometimes see in the blog world.


 

I mentioned in a post a while ago how most of my friends growing up, and even to this day are men, and there's a reason for that.  Women can be mean...I mean really mean to one another, and I've never understood why?!  Just like in high school when a girl would show up in the latest designer clothes, or carrying an expensive purse, or even with the latest fashionable haircut you could almost smell the blood in the water and see the sharks circling.  And it wasn't just the fashionable, popular girls who suffered the fate of being eaten alive, it was also the girls who a select few decided just didn't fit in, so they too were punished for whatever shortcomings they were determined to have!

I managed to stay away from all of this by being an athlete and being a generally funny, happy go lucky sort of person, but it enraged me when I saw it happening to others and I would often wait until an opportune moment to lob a bit of a dig at someone who I knew was always willing to dish it out, but clearly couldn't take it.  I developed a bit of a sarcastic reputation with some, while others saw me as someone who wouldn't just walk by and ignore their plight.  Now I'm no Mother Teresa, but I don't like seeing people get picked on...in real life or online!




Like the swans in my pictures, I often see people starting trouble due to a complete lack of self confidence on their own part.  Sometimes when the swans fight it appears to be for no real reason at all, and their beauty belies their ability to truly hurt one another.  Thankfully this phenomenon of blog jealousy and in-fighting is relegated to a tiny portion of the otherwise wonderful blogging community, but they are there, and like a thorn on a beautiful rose, they sometimes overshadow the beauty of the entire flower!

Do people really have so much time on their hands that they can spend their days trolling the blog world to seek out others to pick on?!  I dream of a world with that much time, but I can assure you that if I find it I won't be wasting that precious time on trying to bring someone else down.




Women and men blog for all sorts of reasons.  It can be for the shear fun of it, the opportunity to have a voice which they feel they lack in real life, to find friends, to share a love or passion for something, and the list goes on and on.  Whether you agree with or like someone else's blog is really up to you.  So if you don't like someone's blog or what they post about then move on down the street to the next blog.

Those people who feel the need to control and dictate what others portray on their blogs should really get over themselves!  I mean really, who died and made you king anyway?!  Hey that's kind of catchy, maybe I'll write a song! ;-)

Sadly, online is really no different than real life.  There are people online who will pretend to be something they aren't, they'll profess religion or knowledge, or whatever in order to justify their behaviors and they'll be mean when it would be so easy to be nice.  As I said this is such a small segment of the community, but unfortunately a very vocal one at times!




We all work hard to make our blogs something special.  And we all hope that what we post touches others in some way, but it's not a competition folks.  It's a big wide internet out there, so if someone has more followers than you, or they have a meteoric rise, then it doesn't in any way diminish you in any way.  There's no need to be bitter, and ultimately mean if someone is creating something you are jealous of, it doesn't take anything away from you.  If you think you have the market cornered on decor, design, or anything else for that matter then you must be living inside a very thick bubble and whether another blogger breaks your bubble or not, it will get broken some day.

We women need to lift one another up, not tear each other down, and most of you get that, but to those who don't I simply feel sorry for you.  I have a thick skin and know that when people speak harshly or try and undermine me for no good reason that they are really just afraid of looking in the mirror, so they turn that anger outward towards others.

To my friends who have been the victims of this type of petty jealousy and general bullying, I say stand strong!  

Just remember this quote from Dr. Seuss...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 

So the next time you see someone have success with their blog, get sponsors, buy a new camera, or do a great job with a project, stand up and cheer for them.  You might be next, and you'll want those same cheers and supportive comments coming your way.  Those of you who already do this, keep doin' what you're doin' and to those who don't...I say try it, you might like it!  What goes around comes around my friends!


69 comments:

  1. What a great post! Well said! I agree completely. Happy Friday:)

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  2. Kat, I agree with everything you said! One of my blogger friends gave up her blog because of the reasons you said. I wish she hadn't done that because now those people have won! The people who tear people down, bully, etc. really need to get a life and start behaving like they should. It really makes me made when people feel they have to belittle, tear down, fight with, etc. other bloggers, people, friends just to make themselves look great. In my eyes they look ridiculous, fake, stupid, etc. I write my blog because I enjoy sharing things with people and I will continue to do the same.

    You have a wonderful weekend! I love the swan pictures (even though you said they were out of focus) I thought they were wonderful! HUGS!!

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  3. Well said. I'm seeing more people write about this topic, I wasn't quite aware of it much until recently. I've also avoided the situation but maybe just because I'm new to blogging.

    I couldn't imagine why people do that. Heck, I'm just trying to upholster an ottoman and take photos of it!

    Hope you have a great weekend :-)

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  4. Amazing post, dear Kat ... presented in your most excellent style!! Maybe you can make a difference, but I doubt it will happen. Blog trolls are selfish and will never see themselves in your words, so your advice is lost on them.

    It's utter genius of you to use bickering swan photos to illustrate this! You are a master, my friend.

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  5. Kat..
    I'm with you..
    we each created our blogs first to address a NEED within ourselves..
    secondly as a venue for sharing our photos, thoughts, projects or whatevers..
    there's a whole 'nother world out there in Blogland..
    with a niche for everyone..
    no need to be petty ..
    or bullying ..
    or jealous..
    we have enough of that in the real world!
    so in the spirit of blogging..
    let's apply the Golden Rule:
    "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"
    warmest sandy hugs..
    Loui♥

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  6. AMEN!!!! So well said. I am always amazed at why someone would want to hurt anyone. I have learned so much from others blogging and I find this the most informative, creative and interesting outlet ever. Hurrah for everyone out there that is willing to put their talents online so we can all learn from them. God Bless you for speaking out. Hugs, Marty

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  7. I have always loved this saying that I see on a blog I've been visiting since I began, back in 2007. At the end of every post, Donna Boucher says "Encourage Each Other". It's what I try to do.
    The hell with the trolls.

    Love the photos you used for this, Kat. Very clever !

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  8. Kat, Great post! So far I have not experienced the negativity in blogging but I know some have. It is such a shame that there is always a small group of people that try to ruin it for everyone. This is the exact reason I stopped posting and visiting Rate My Space. Thanks for addressing this.
    Hugs,
    Sherry

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  9. Kat, I am sorry if you have been on the receiving end of a nasty commenter. You are so generous and supportive of bloggers. I am also glad that you have written about this. I had a run in with an artist/ blogger
    who clearly, was insecure, petty and childish. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of publishing her email to me, in order to let my readers decide if I was guilty of anything. I published my response as well. In the end, I had to take the whole post down, because she invited all of her friends to comment some really nasty, uncalled for comments. For a while I thought of giving up blogging. It is sad that some people choose to always go to that negative place. Let it roll off your shoulders, we are better than that.

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  10. I couldn't agree with you more and I've seen this out there in Blogland. Luckily I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen "discussions" that were so inappropriate in a place where the vast majority just come to share and make friends.

    I just love blogging and I do what I can, visit who I can, when I can. I do this without guilt.

    Mean-spirited people just need to find another outlet for their frustration. That is so high school and honey, I'm way to old for that, lol.

    Celebrate your friends successes!

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  11. About 99% of people I've met blogging have been sooooo warm and kind and friendly that it makes it easy to ignore the odd Anonymous weirdo comment!!

    I'm new to your blog but I love it!! Those swan photos are fantastic.

    I'm your new follower.

    Sarahx

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  12. Great post Kat! I've been very fortunate, I've not had to experience this kind of nonsense first hand. I have had several friends experience this nastiness, and it's just unbelievable to me. This has been such a great outlet for me, and I've met such supportive, generous people. I think I'm most grateful for the fact that my little blog doesn't garner a lot of attention, because that's when the crazies seem to come out of the woodwork. For me, it's a way to hone my writing craft and keep in contact with some wonderful people. No more, no less. Good for you for bringing this issue into the light! Kat

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  13. Very well said, Kat!
    And I am so sorry for those who have not treated you well, I will be happy to kick their butts if you would like. :-)

    I have also thought of deleting my blog, but for very different reasons...as you begin to gain a bit of a following, it becomes harder to know just who you can and should trust. People can set out to use you for their own gain, and it becomes hard to know who truly likes you for you.

    Just my experience.

    Don't ever go away and let "them" win!

    Hugs,
    Anne

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  14. I whole-heartedly agree my friend! I started blogging as way to meet others that have common interests and possibly connect with new friends from all over. I have been lucky so far but have heard this topic come up quite a bit lately and I feel bad for those that have come across ignorance and just plain mean-spiritedness. I was aways taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it all but at the same time I have learned that there is beauty is anything if you just look and pay attention. The swan photos are perfect (and beautiful) and I hope it opens some eyes out there! Bless your wonderful heart my friend!

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  15. Well said! I've worked hard at building followers and STILL am not where I would have hoped to have been by this time. But, it's certainly not due to any other blogger so I've never felt the need to blame bloggers who have had more success than I. It's all about content and being supportive of others. We all have bad days now and then, but some commenters never have anything positive to say. I just feel badly for them. I am however, wearing pointy toed boots today if I can be of service? HEE HEE

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  16. OMG you're amazing do you know that? You speak my mind every time. So true, so true, so true. I agree with everything you say. And I too had more male friends than female friends. Because women try to compete, tear down, destroy,usually from jealousy. And men just wanna have fun! Woohoo! Lets just have fun! Life is so short to spend it fighting and always trying to be on top. And they say it's lonely at the top! God you just have such a way with words and you have such insight. I don't know about all this blogging upset, thank god, but I believe it is out there just like life in general. When will women learn if they want to have harmony they need to learn to build one another up, not tear each other down. I don't think they ever will. You're so cool Kat...I love ya! You just call it like it is!!!!!

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  17. I would like to add one thing.... It's nice to tout newcomers as sometimes it's difficult when being a new blogger to get things going. Sometimes I feel that when bloggers hit a certain number of followers they get so busy responding to their own commenters that they don't take time out to truly help others. It's just hard to do it all and and do it all well.

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  18. Kat, it is true women can be so petty and jealous. I haven't really had any negativity, but a good friend of mine in this blogging arena did by another fellow blogger not too long ago. She went on and on and on. This person was even on my blog roll, but after all the ridiculous accusations against my friend I removed her from my blog roll. I will not put up with that.
    This friend was truly upset to the point of crying. Blogging is just not worth that. This other blogger finally snapped out of her crazed rage and apologized to my friend, but I could not believe the ones who supported what she was saying when they did not know the other side or truth. This person was not copying anyone's ideas as she was saying.

    BTW, love these swan pictures!

    Have a super weekend!!

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  19. Hi Kat, this was such an interesting post! I've heard of this type of thing going on but haven't experienced it at all myself. So many bloggers, you included of course, have been so giving of their time and advice.

    Once I guess I did have a blogger comment on how she had been visiting my site for a while and it was time for me to visit hers - but it wasn't too aggressive, just a bit pushy in my eyes. I would never write that on someone's blog.

    My blogland is viewed with rose-colored glasses - I'm always enjoying what I see and read and feeling cozy and comfortable - but I really don't put myself out there in any way -so I'm not a vulnerable as other bloggers may be. And their vulnerability stems only from their generosity in sharing a talent or idea with the rest of us. It's sad to know that there is someone out there sitting at a keyboard ready to pounce!

    You're right in saying if someone doesn't agree with or even like a blog, just move on down the road to the next blog. There are plenty out there, that's for sure. Maybe you should start something like an Enquirer and report on what blog trolls are up to!! LOL!! Ciao, bella!

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  20. I have been a victim of a stalker. I had to change my password on my blog a few times recently because someone hacked into my site. I never thought that would happen to me because I don't have that many followers and am not a threat to anyone who is trying to be successful in the blogging world. However, I have since learned that some people just enjoy creating havoc and if it happens to me again, I will simply stop blogging.

    Love,
    Susan and Bentley
    xxoo

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  21. Thanks so much for this post! You really know how to write. My blog is too little to attract the whackos, but I don't like seeing the mean spirited comments on anyone's blog.

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  23. So well said! If you're reading someone's blog and you disagree with what is said, keep it to yourself or better yet stop following that blog because chances are you'll continue to disagree. My opinions are my friends and your opinions are your friends. We can introduce them but they may not like each other. And for Pete's sake grow up! That Kat is why I too have mostly male friends.

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  24. well i am not a blogger just a follower and as a Pa dutchwoman sometimes i can say things *lil backwards* so if i ever offended someone i am trully sorry but i don't think i have......anyways is there no way to block these people with nothing else to do but hurt people? Can't say anything nice don't say it at all.....we should all live by this!!

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  25. the joys of blogging is we control our own destiny, just omit, delete and never share the bad stuff if any should arise. to me its all about fun, creativity and passionatley sharing whatever you want, whenever you want,its a way to for everyone to have a little creative outlet to shine~

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  26. Hi Kat!

    I'm not sure why some women treat each other in a negative manner but I agree that it's real. If anything we should be supporting one another in the blogging community. Celebrate each other so to speak. Friendship is a beautiful thing. I've met some wonderful women through blogging. It has been fun to share ideas, talents, questions, etc. I'm saddened when I see others tear each other down. I hope that many will read this post and think about how they respond or don't respond to fellow bloggers.

    Great post! Have a wonderful weekend!
    Michelle :)

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  27. Great post! My son's biology teacher has a quote, "girls are mean and boys are stupid". Truthfully, I have been picked my entire life and it hasn't stopped. Someone reported my blog as offensive and it will no longer show up in the rankings. I have tried to work the matter out, but no one has responded to my 4 attempts. Oh well. The truth will eventually come out in the end. Wonder how people find the time to stir the pot? Mine is too precious.

    Happy weekend Kat!

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  28. What Connie said, absolutely -

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  29. Great post! It has been interesting being a part of the blogging community. Like you, I tend to avoid drama. I've had a few anonymous comments that were just plain rude, but not hateful. I delete them. I think you have to be fairly secure with yourself to not feel envious of the success of others. I have watched a couple bloggers become very successful fairly quickly, but they have also changed the tone and personal touch of their blogs that made me love them in the first place. I don't like the person less. I may envy the numbers a bit but I refuse to change who I am, just for numbers.

    Those who choose to cast stones must be fairly insecure with who they are or why they are here. I barely have the time to say all the nice things to people that I want to...I can't imagine being mean or spiteful to someone. If I don't like a blog or a writer, I simply don't go back. The fact we are all so different is what makes it fun and keeps it interesting.

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  30. I have been a silent reader until now. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post. I do not have a popular blog
    (or even want one) but I am going through a tough time in my life and this post really helped me. Thank you! -Susie

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  31. Hi Kat
    It's been a while since I've visited.
    Still love my table cloth from your giveaway : )

    I wanted to say that I don't understand people who run roughshod over others for no apparent reason. I think they must be like that in real life too.

    I try to embrace proper blogger decorum at all times. I have had a few little jabs, but nothing upsetting enough to lose sleep over.
    Rhonda

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  32. I must be pretty oblivious to the goings on in the blogworld. Other than a couple of nasty comments I didn;t know there were problems. My issue right now is a man who hates women of a certain nationality and had started to leave a long cut and pasted comment on my posts that I remove. He is pissing me off though. Has anyone else had this from him. Boycott______ Women is his comment followed by a long ulgly rant.

    Kat, the people attracted to your blog get a feel who who you are and are supportive of you.

    Thank you for writing this.

    Chania

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  33. It is people like you who help me continue to blog away. Thanks for all you do.

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  34. Hi Kat!
    Amen! Couldn't agree more. Thanks for this post, you have such a way with words. Love the pics too! :)

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  35. Hear, hear Kat! You have obviously struck a chord with many. Long live the Tiggers in this world. I have no time for all those Eeyores. ;)Sharyne

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  36. I think you're very smart to post this and encouraging.
    I love the swan photos. We have them too and i watch them bullying other birds for no reason.
    We live in a fallen world.

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  37. wow...I have never once thought someone might be jealous or be ugly. I think you said everything just right and the photos matched perfectly. Kudos!

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  38. Kat, you are a wonderful Mama Lion and I thank you for writing this post! The swan images illustrating your points are so clever. You are gifted in so many ways, well said dear Kat! xoxo ~Lili

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  39. New to blogging, I have been amazed at how kind and helpful everyone has been. I hate to hear about this! Thank you for sticking up for the sweet and encouraging the mean to pack up and move on!

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  40. Sweet Kat, I have no words....because you said it all so perfectly. Thank you!! Hugs to you ~ Txx

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  41. Hello Kat,

    What a very well written post and one that obviously comes from your heart. I was not aware of this type of drama happening until the past few months. I believe I have avoided it because I am just a small time blogger with no particular niche. I have a very low tolerance for that kind of pettiness and drama. In the past year that I have been blogging, I have enjoyed the encouragement and inspiration I have received from other bloggers and in turn try to do the same. I agree that with as many blogs as there are and new ones popping up every day, if you happen upon one you do not like, simply move on.

    The swan photos you selected are aptly suited for this post.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    ~ Tracy

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  42. Hi Kat,
    You have really spoken to my heart this evening. Although I can say that most of my friends here in Blogland have been wonderful, there was one incident that occured back a long time ago. Seems one blogger got mad at another blogger and decided to do the same to her followers that were friends with the other blogger. I couldn't believe it! I was surprised that this kind of thing could happen in the blog world.
    Of course, I told you about my week and how I let someone else's insecurities affect me in a bad way. I now have a much clearer view of who I am and how I'm going to handle such difficult, insensitive people.
    I appreciate the encouragement from you and your down to earth advice.

    I love how you presented this post and I appreciate you speaking your mind.

    hugs
    Sissie

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  43. The photos suit your post so well. Well thought out and said, Kat. I am saddened to hear, in several blogs, that this kind of stuff is happening. I've been a bit oblivious, but I would certainly speak up if I was aware it was happening to a blogging friend of mine.

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  44. Amen to this, Kat! I hope you haven't been the victim of this blog meanness! I haven't had the problem other than having to block a few followers I felt were on my blog for not so good reasons...but I have known several really sweet bloggers who have have some real problems. I don't get it... the need to cause havoc and unhappiness...except that the person has real problems of their own. You are right~ there's so many blogs out there...just move on...XO

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  45. Well said! I have been on the recieving end of some of that nastiness both in real life and on my blog. I have never understood why putting someone down makes others feel big. Just sad.

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  46. Great post, Kat...thank you. My mother taught us, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...she was a wise woman.

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  47. Dear Kat-

    I am feeling so blessed to have you in my corner.
    You have graciously answered my crazy photography emails with generosity and caring.

    You have championed us all in this post.

    For me- I think it is important to hold blogging
    loosely...

    Laura
    White Spray Paint

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  48. well said! I never understand the negativity that people feel the need to spread. If I don't agree with a blogger or their project isn't my taste, I simply DONT leave a comment. I understand the need to leave a mean or nasty comment. If I continue to disagree with a bloggers view, I simply stop following. Easy, peasy? right? We should encourage one another, not tear each other down! Life is hard enough as it is without our hobbies beating us down too!

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  49. Well said Kat. My mom always said "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" Have a wonderful weekend!

    Mary

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  50. Well said!
    I've been lucky enough to stay under the radar as far as any nastiness goes, but I know that some friends have had a hard time. I think that the best we can do is to speak up if we comment after someone who has been unkind, and support one another with generosity and kindness.

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  51. Hi Kat. Well said. I have read so many posts about this topic lately, I can only assume a lot of people are being affected. If I were to receive nasty comments, unless they are rascist, sexist, or intolerant of a persons beliefs, I wont delete, respond, or give them any attention what-so-ever. They are not worth the attention they seek. I like to go in to bat for the underdog, and wish I could visit every blog that's been a victim of this, and support them. Thank you for reminding all of us to avoid this kind of carry on.

    Cheers,
    Lisa x

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  52. You've written perfectly what I believe! I am a very happy person and I don't like conflict, so sometimes I do like other birds and bury my head! But I am very sensitive, too and see what I call 'junior high behavior' in real life and in blogs. It's something very hard to grow out of, I think! But it IS hurtful and there's enough sorrow in the world without mean, spiteful behavior! HUGS to you for writing this...and hugs to everyone in blogland! And to those that are mean...GROW UP! Be respectful and KIND! ♥♥♥

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  53. Anne is funny...good one Anne.
    Has our society changed, I think so...loss of God is at the core of it all. Good post!
    I like your blog, and the swans are beautiful, what a treat!
    Love
    Marcie

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  54. Pefectly stated, I am also in love with Dr Suess quotes btw! I cannot believe this stuff really happens, but love that you are putting it out there! Your pics are FAB by the way! and that song always gets stuck in my head! I am going to try to link to you on my blog now! xox!

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  55. Hello, What a wonderful post, thank you so much. I love to be supportive of other blogs, I don't understand people like that. Have a wonderful weekend and thank you again. Terri

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  56. Kat, I'm late to the dance commenting on this post. I couldn't agree more with your comments and I think your out of focus swans are most appropriate, those who would bully other bloggers are definitely "out of focus",

    I haven't experienced this first hand as I'm a very small blogger but after reading this post I have a better understanding as to why bloggers set their blogs up with approvals before comments can be posted and also why some don't allow anonymous comments.

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  57. What a great post Kat. In my experience, some people just love drama and conflict, and are happy to inflict it however and wherever they can. For the most part I've been so lucky to have had such wonderful support from my fellow bloggers (and you were one of the very first to show such generosity!) but occasionally I have found drama, and from the most unlikely sources imaginable. I think that some people are very insecure, and they can't help but be permanently on the defensive, even when it's unwarranted. I've always tried to focus on the positive, and will always try to ignore those who try to do otherwise. Good on you for bringing this issue into the open - I know it affects a lot of bloggers. We just need to remember that there's enough of everything for everyone! K xxx

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  58. Great post Kat, you are so right in blogland you will face some ugliness just like in the real physical world. I find most bloggers that love what they are doing will also love and be supportive of most bloggers.
    I just had my first negative experiences this past couple of months. I tolerated this persons passive agressive behaviour until they went on someone else's blog and bad mouthed me as a person. That did it. I never did respond in a negative manner or acknowleged their poor behavior I just blocked her, actually made me a bit sad and then I started monitoring my comments. Sad that I had to do that, but I did not want that negative atmosphere on my blog. I try to stay up and posetive.
    Thank you for giving a voice to those that can not speak for themselves. You are a dear wonderful lady, xo Kathysue

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  59. We all blog for very personal reasons. Please, everyone, don't let it get so competitive! We're here to enjoy our own blog, and support other bloggers. It is SUCH a wonderful community out there! I have not experienced negativity, only those endless spam, non-sequiter kind of comments.
    And, it is such a shame when a really fine blog disappears (thinking of PK).
    Thanks for posting this Kat!

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  60. Why is it that women don't support other women? I don't get it.I know one thing having a women boss is 1000 times worse to work with then a man boss. All I can think of is jealousy like u said. Life is too short to behaving this way LADIES.

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  61. Kat- you have touched a sore spot in my heart that I thought I had hidden away~~

    Earlier this summer a blogger ask me to create a link to their blog on my own blog. I happily agreed to do so and planned to do it in a few days when I did my next post. Apparently that time frame did not suit the other blogger and in just a short time I received a scathing email. Kat- that email broke my heart- it shook my self esteem- it embarrassed me in such a way that I am still not over it.

    In so many ways I am still an inexperienced blogger. I learn new things every day- and I learn from bloggers like you. I would not even haveva blog today if it were not for the help, support, and guidance from some other much more experienced bloggers. When I began blogging I reached out to some bloggers that I admired and ask for help. Their response to help me was so kind and
    generous - I have never forgotten how the came to my aid.

    And then~~ in one nasty email all of my self confidence was crushed. I came so close to giving up my blog- I was within seconds of just pushing the DELETE
    button- so very close.

    I have made it my goal to reach out and help any bloggers who ask for my help. I want everyone to succeed. No one wants to pour their heart into a blog and have no one there to appreciate their efforts. I want to repay a hundred times over the kindness that was shown to me when I first started.

    I work at the hospital with a lot of women. I would rather work with men anytime. Women can be so mean sometimes. They have mean ugly jealous claws -and I hate that kind of confrontation.

    Anyway- my comment has already gone on to long. Suffice it to say that my feelings were horribly hurt and apparently I am not over it yet.

    Thank you Kat for this honest post on a difficult subject.
    Vicki

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  62. Ps- the use of the fighting swan photos was "right on!"
    Vicki

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  63. Great post, I feel we have such a great opportunity to be positive and supportive of others, what a waste it would be to have negativity and pettiness take away from this.
    Janell

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  64. Perfectly said and portrayed. Thanks. Blogging has been so much fun and so rewarding and I'm constantly amazed there are so many wonderful women out there in the great big world who are really alike in so many ways and so inherently good. Participating (albeit limited) and observing has been wonderful for me and has renewed my faith in humankind. This post and all its support is further evidence of the kindness of strangers.

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  65. Kat,
    First the easy part...if these are your blurry pictures...god help me! :)

    When I started blogging, I told my husband, sister and a friend I'm jumping into "love fest". I'm not kidding...everything I had read, granted it was only 2 short months before I started my own blog, was always so upbeat. I've had only one hurtful issue. A bloggy friend shared a private conversation with someone else. Of course it was taken out of contex and no other details were provided and it got blown way out of proportion by people it didn't involve and those same people would be shocked to hear the other side/participation of that conversation, but I dealt with it the best I could and moved on.

    I read a variety of blogs. As my personality is not one-dimensional, neither is my blog roll. There are lots of smart women and men...designers, homeowners, writers and photographers that I enjoy hearing what they have to say. I also like it when people give their opinions. Does it have to be cruel? I don't think so and I do occasionally see things that are over the top. I give my opinions, but to the best of my awareness, have never done so just to be cruel or an ass. And if I have, then I am sorry for sure. However, I am not opposed to a bit of snark, especially when it is delivered with humor, because not everything in design makes sense and it's ok to be critical, if you have something intelligent to discuss/contribute/debate.

    Glad you posted this!!!
    xo,
    ~R

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  66. Beautifully said! I have been trying to catch up on posts today and when I read this one I stopped in puzzlement(is there such a word!?!). I can't imagine why anyone would be nasty or cruel on a blog. Certainly not to you...you are the most supportive, talented writer and photographer who is always willing to help in any way and cheer everyone on. I haven't run into
    anyone nasty, just anonymous people who leave spam which is why I don't accept anonymous comments anymore. Wow, I am so suprised to hear this goes on...as women aren't we all suppose to support each others goals and accomplishments? Well, your post is superb and I'm glad you posted this!

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  67. At first i thought...how can you say your photo's aren't great....i love the swan's and the blue water....then i read your comment about angry bloggers...and realized these were angry swans...And then you really look..harder at the swans....
    I get your message...
    And isn't it sad that people can be so angry and leave such negative comments.
    I have to add....i LOVE your photos..They are amazing...
    I'm NOT a hater!
    Deb

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