Life at My House

Finding your place in the world, a comfy safe place where you can grow and thrive is so very important.

Finding that place, the one where you are loved, accepted, supported, and even pampered a little is what we all want and need I think.  And when you are cute, you can even get away with taking up all of the available foot room underneath the desk of the hand that feeds you!

The World in Black and White

I don't often voice my political or religious views on this blog, it's something I'm just not comfortable doing.  I believe that each of us is entitled to those views, to live our lives in a moral and just way, but sometimes things seem a little bass ackwards to me.

I had planned to chat about my new dining room chairs that I got for a steal yesterday at the Restoration Hardware outlet.

Regale you with tales of how, after a 3 hour drive each way, I lucked into a Pottery Barn outlet closing where the already reduced merchandise was another 40% off.  How I bought a beautiful ticking striped duvet cover and this pretty white platter for a song.

I wanted to tell you how delicious these organic honey crisp apples are, and how they are totally worth the long trip to Whole Foods to buy them.

I planned to go on and on about these pretty white napkins, also found at the Pottery Barn closing sale.

How I've been looking for some nice white napkins at a good price and how these were like a match made in heaven for my new dining room.   But...

Last night, as I sat down to catch up on the day's emails, do some blog reading, and skim through the online news sources, I was confronted with something that makes all of my great purchases seem more than just a little insignificant.

You see, sometimes we like to paint the world as black and white, but there is so much grey area in this world of ours.  Sometimes black and white is a good thing, like in these two photos of Misty Belle and Mr. Quinn, but sometimes, when it is used in a way that is hurtful, it's anything but beautiful.

As a blogger, I now have a sense of fellowship that only other bloggers can know.  Especially bloggers who use their blogs to share a little bit of themselves with each of us.  Those who put their heart and soul on the line for the world to see, the good, the bad and even the ugly that comes with living a real and authentic life.  So when one of us is having issues, I feel like we need to all step in and help out, even if that just means moral support.

Such is the case for Mark and his blog, entitled Our Simple Lives.  Kind of an ironic name for his blog, because life has been anything but simple for Mark and his partner Fred, and their 4 children.  You see, Mark and Fred are a gay couple who have adopted 4 children.

Now, some of you may be running for the hills right now, and that's your prerogative to do so, I surely can't, nor will I try to stop you.  But if you have a moment I'd like to say what I think about their current situation.

You can read much more about it on Mark's blog, and on CNN, where it made front page news yesterday.  Fred is a French Citizen, while Mark is an American citizen.  The two fell in love, got married when it was legal in the State of California, and have adopted 4 beautiful and thriving children.  They have been together longer than many couples seem to be able to make it these days, I believe it's 20 years, and the love they share for their children is undeniable and real.  As in the life is messy kind of real.

Because they are a gay couple, Fred now faces deportation, because even though they legally married in California a number of years ago, and Mark is a US citizen, our federal government doesn't recognize their marriage.  So now Fred must return to his home country after living her for 2 decades.

To those of you still reading, those who haven't unfollowed me, or made snap judgements, or turned away in disgust at the thought of a non traditional family, thank you.  You see, I would much rather see a family like Mark and Fred's, one which has contributed to society, worked hard for everything they have, and given 4 beautiful and innocent children the chance at a wonderful life, than I would half the people I see in what is deemed an appropriate marriage, dragging their children around Walmart at 11 pm.  Cursing at them, threatening them, but given the rights denied to Mark, Fred and their 4 children.

You have to ask yourself, why is it that our society rewards people who misbehave like Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardasian with multi million dollar contracts for doing nothing to help society, while it penalizes people like Mark and Fred who kept 4 children from possibly knowing the instability and often horrors of the foster care system?!

As a magazine writer for beautiful homes, I have lots of gay friends, it just comes with the territory my friends.  So I can say that my world is a richer and more wonderful place because of those friendships.  So while you peruse the latest designs and heap praise on many notable designers, who just happen to also be gay, but then turn your back when you see the injustice of it all, well I would have to say that in my book that would be the definition of hypocritical.

You don't have to support gay marriage, or want marriage redefined, but when people like Mark and Fred's family will be torn apart because the world doesn't operate in black and white, I would hope you would at least try and support them so that our society could have one more stable family to help keep this country's future bright!

If you would like to learn about more ways you can support Mark and Fred, please go here.

Me, Dave, and Old Man Winter

Old Man Winter decided to make an appearance today.  He didn't come in quietly, or even gradually, but instead he flung the door wide open and ushered in an icy cold wind that could knock you off your feet.


Now I know it's January, and I get that the weather shouldn't be balmy, but I've managed to live in a bit of denial since October because we've had such unseasonably warm weather these past few months.  As our cold loving daughter lamented the lack of a chill in the air, I was dancing a jig at the fact that it was in the 60s over the holidays.

If you've been hanging out here for any length of time, then you are well aware that I'm a warm weather sort of person.  I love everything hot, well except maybe soup, but other than that I love warm weather sports, t-shirts, flip flops, the beach, and anything even remotely tropical.

Even as a kid, my mother would get frustrated on snow days when, after spending some time bundling me all up to go brave the cold, I would promptly return 20 minutes later in search of a cup of cocoa and a few marshmallows.  I think I only went outside so that I could get that cup of steaming hot chocolate.  You know, it doesn't seem right to drink it just for the sake of drinking it, you have to be freezing cold so that it can bring some sense of feeling back into your hands when you hug that warm mug.

There are only two wintertime activities that I actually enjoy, one is ice skating, and the other is sledding.  But since we rarely get enough snow to sled, and it hasn't been cold enough for the ponds or creeks to freeze solidly enough to skate on in years here, well then I kind of quietly pass the time until those first buds warm my heart and remind me that winter is done.

I'm not a grump during winter, and I do enjoy seeing the swans return to our creek each winter, but I mostly enjoy this season from the comforts of a well heated environment.  So Old Man Winter, if you are so inclined, why not give yourself a little rest this year and move on down the road.  In case you needed some sort of permission, I'm giving it to you right here and now, to let spring come a wee bit early this year.

And to those of you who love winter, I get it, I don't begrudge you this season.  Nope, I say enjoy every blustery day and sub zero temp you can find.  But just as you hate high heat and humidity, I don't take a cotton to your beloved cold and grey skies, so let's just agree to disagree, shall we?  :-)

When I think of grey days (yes I prefer the "e" spelling of grey), I think of this particular song.  And on a completely different topic, I promised Lili that I would one day tell my Dave story, so here goes.

I am a big Dave Matthews fan, not like a crazy stalker kind of person, but I love his music.  It makes me want to dance, sing, and it just makes me smile.  Mr. Tide on the other hand, not so much.  As a sax and trumpet player himself, he can tolerate the bits where Dave's band gets down with their horn section, but other than that, let's just say that I listen to Dave mostly in the car when I'm driving alone.

About 10 or 11 years ago, Dave was going to be in our neck of the woods, or at least within 2 1/2 hours, so Mr. Tide surprised me with tickets.  I was thrilled, I had always wanted to see Dave in concert, so this was way cool for me.

On the day of the concert we took the kids over to my parent's house to spend the day and have a sleepover, and we jumped in our almost brand spankin new Jetta, opened the sunroof, and headed on our way.  What should have been a 2 1/2 hour drive ended up being more like a 4 1/2 hour drive, and to this day we aren't sure if there was an accident or what, but it was a LONG drive.

We pulled in to the parking lot of the venue, which was a big open air concert place and we sat there for about 45 minutes waiting until the gates opened.  As we sat there I noticed something, everyone around us was far from like us.  They were all young 20 somethings, most likely college students, and many of them had been partying for a few hours by this point.  On the other end of the spectrum were a handful of older folks, as in much older, who clearly had lost their way when the Grateful Dead quit touring, and I guess Dave was a good substitute....I can see that.  But the former Dead followers were about .00005% of the general concert populace by all of my calculations.

The gates finally opened, and we wandered up to the entrance, and the  closer I got the more I thought that one of two things was about to happen.  I was either going to have the concert experience of my dreams, or I was going to be vomited on by a very drunk 20 something...odds were heavily favoring the latter since it was open seating in a field.

I looked at Mr. Tide and said, "would you mind if we just sold the tickets and headed home?"  Now bear in mind, that this wonderful husband of mine, who just drove over 4 hours to a concert you couldn't have gotten him to go to but for love or money, in this case love, looked at me like I had lost my mind.

As with any sold out concert, and Dave sells out months in advance, there were numerous folks standing at the entrance, hands held high with the number of tickets they so desperately needed.  We approached a young couple and asked if they wanted to buy ours.  They told us how they had seen Dave the night before in Pennsylvania and how they were so "stoked" to hopefully see him again that night.  I explained that although I loved Dave, I felt a wee bit old and out of place, which was followed by a lot of things like, "nah man, you're not old, you should go in man, he is so awesome in concert...like seriously!"  

Their words of reassurance only cemented the conclusion I had already come to on my own.  When we explained that we just wanted what we had paid for the tickets, they almost jumped up and down and asked if we were sure.  I explained that with two children at home I wasn't really game to use our one phone call to let our family know that we were now in a Virginia jail for scalping tickets.  They gave us cash for the tickets, and gleefully ran into the venue.  Had I been 20 years younger I could have been them!

So back in the car we went, taking a different way home, where we dined at Mikey D's and had ice cream at one of our favorite places in Virginia.  Driving down those back roads, with the sunroof open, and Dave blaring on the car stereo seemed almost better than being with him live.  So maybe Dave and winter aren't that dissimilar for me, I enjoy them from the comfort of my own home.

I have told Mr. Tide, that if Dave ever comes to a much smaller, more civilized venue, appropriate for old folks like me, that I would love to go.  So what do you think the chances of that ever happening really are?!  The odds, I'm betting slim to none. ;-)

Vintage Christmas Memories

Each year...

When I rummage through my Christmas tubs...

And come across the things that have been in my family for as long as I can remember...

And some things that I've picked up along the way, that were in someone else's family...

Things that someone else didn't want to remember, or forgot about years ago...

I think of those who are no longer with me during the holidays...

And for a moment I am sad...

But then I remember, especially as I hold an ornament from my childhood in my hand, that those we love are always with us, celebrating right alongside us.  So even though we aren't together in the physical sense, we are forever connected, and for me, that's what makes Christmastime so special.

Merry Christmas to all the family and friends who are no longer here on earth with me, but are always by my side and forever in my heart!

Call Me Crazy

Oh go ahead, I will accept the title of crazy, for any number of reasons.

I'm crazy  behind schedule on returning emails (those that even make it through, either coming or going *ugh*!), reading comments, and finishing up work.

I'm crazy ready to get that #*%$ oriental rug out of my living room that matches nothing anymore! 

But I'm crazy because I can't decide what the heck I want to replace it with...hemp? grass? kilim? sheepskin?...*sigh*!

I'm crazy for hanging some of my own artwork in my house.  It seems kind of weird to me to showcase your own artwork, but hey I'm loving it anyway!

I'm crazy for wanting to get rid of my big green sofa that is in perfect condition to replace it with something...anything...linen!

I'm crazy for wanting to blow out that wall where the chest is and put in a fireplace, for nights like tonight when you just want to sit in front of a fireplace and do nothing but watch the flames dance.

I'm crazy for wandering around the house looking for a place to stick some stalks of wheat.

I'm crazy for wanting to add on to my house so that my garage door doesn't enter into my formal living room!  Ok, that one really isn't so crazy!!

After driving 2 1/2 hours home last night and seeing houses all lit up for Christmas, apparently I am really crazy for having these all over my house.

Yes, I am one of those bah humbug people who refuses to decorate before Thanksgiving.  I've tried it once or twice...throwing out a few Christmas'y items before the last gobble is over, but it's just not me.

I don't mind it if others do it, but its just not my thing.  You see, I have lots of beautiful Thanksgiving decor, from turkeys to acorns to pumpkins.  So I embrace everything that is November, and I reserve Christmas for December, and when I'm lazy a bit of January too!

I have this feeling that if I overlooked my turkeys, never letting them see the light of day each November, they might come alive and kill me in my sleep...call me crazy! :-)

Landmarks

Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments about my last post!  I read each and every one of them (thank you Droid!) while Mr. Tide and I were away helping our daughter who ended up taking a trip to the emergency room last Thursday in the wee hours of the morning.  Unfortunately for her, she has inherited some of my reproductive issues, and suffered a ruptured ovarian cyst...ouch!  She is feeling much better now, and thankfully she has a wonderful roommate who took very good care of her until we could get there the following day!

The house pictured above is what we call the Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear House.  For those of you who live in southern Maryland, it is a sort of landmark.  I'm not quite sure where it got its name, or who owns it, but I think most people who know of its existence have always called it by that name.  

I actually took the picture at the request of a friend of mine who has always loved this little unassuming house.  I think it resonates with her, and with me, because it is so simple, yet so charming.  When my kids were little they had a joke that I only liked run down houses.  It's true, I do love a fixer upper that has tales to tell and wears her years with pride.  I think you can just feel the love and happiness that once filled their rooms and even the yard when you look at them.  Can't you just hear those screen doors slamming as children darted in and out, chasing lightning bugs in the summer or going to fetch wood to feed the stove during the winter?

Anyway, it's a present for my friend, whose birthday is coming up.  She doesn't read my blog every day, so I think I am safe to post it.

I guess landmarks are what help us to find our way.  Long before GPS' showed up on everything from our car's dashboard to our smart phones, these were the coordinates that let us know where we were and how to make our way back home.  Mr. Tide still laughs when I give directions based on where things "used" to be.  You know, you turn right where the Ford Dealership used to be, next to Mr. So and So's house that was torn down years ago, the one with the big front porch, and then you go down the hill by where we used to buy our penny candy, and over the old railroad tracks that no longer exist?!  Seems simple enough...right?

A sense of place, I think that's why we use directions that link us to our past, and why we would want a picture of the Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear house...before they tear it down and put in a doggone Wawa or self storage place!

A Recipe for Good Design

If decorating were like baking a cake, there would be a recipe to follow, something simple that would result in something delicious!

Just like with the cake analogy, there are a million different flavors of cake, some which are favorites, and others which cater to a more exotic palette.  So in a way there are tried and true recipes for decorating, and there really is no right or wrong, the ingredients can vary and the outcome will sometimes flop, but you can start over, amend the recipe, and try again.

If I were writing a decorating cookbook of sorts, I would be sure that each recipe included 3 key ingredients, Color, Light, and Texture.  For me, these are like sugar, flour, and butter...essential to creating that prize winning cake, or to creating good design.

I am not a master chef at decorating, but I do know what I like.  Like the photo above of my trusty bucket bench.  This bench has traveled with me from house to house and in its lifetime it's been several colors, including a deep green.  Today, it's painted Benjamin Moore's Simply White, but next month it may find a new color, who knows.  It holds a small collection of crocks, and if you look closely, you'll see something dark sticking up from the crock in the back right.  I use these crocks to hold our dog's leashes, they keep things close at hand but out of sight...well sort of since you can see them in the photo!  

The clock was an inherited gift from Mr. Tide's grandparents, we still need to take it to a repair shop to get it back into working order.  I love the deep dark brown of the wood, the wavy glass which reflects the light pouring in from the backyard, and beautiful intricate carving...color, light, and texture!

For me, color comes in many forms.  White on white, or tone on tone interiors are all the rage right now as evidenced by the numerous books and magazine articles featuring interiors with monochromatic color schemes.  When done well, with lots of varying shades of white and plenty of texture, I swoon right along with the masses, but I know that for me, it would never work.

For me, having an all white house would be like eating angel food cake for dessert every night.  Not that I don't love a good angel food cake with its soft center and slightly crispy browned crust, but I need more color in my life than that.  On the other hand, I'm not a red velvet cake person either, with deep rich hues and plenty of saturated colors.  I think if I was any cake it would be a lemon chiffon, or maybe a spice cake with a big dollop of fresh whipped cream...something light but colorful, or something with a kick of flavor from a mix of ingredients.

With design, I think it's fair to say that you can appreciate and even enjoy different flavors, but in order to find your own sense of style you need to figure out which tastes appeal to you and then learn to hone those flavors into something that satisfies your needs.

If Paula Deen or Martha Stewart told you to only like cupcakes would you believe them?!  The same can be true for magazines and books.  Just because something is in vogue at the moment and it's not to your liking doesn't mean you have to re-do your entire house to suit someone else's taste buds.

I think we all struggle with this, I know I do.  And believe me, when you work in a business that is focused on what's hot at the moment, it's easy to get caught up and swept away with the latest design trends, often feeling somewhat inadequate if your 2 layer yellow cake somehow doesn't measure up to the perfect chocolate truffle souffle being featured on the pages of your favorite magazine.

Instead of letting it overwhelm you when you feel like your home someone doesn't make the grade, stop and take a moment to look at all the ingredients found in the rooms and homes you see featured.  Maybe you love the pinch of salt, like the all white walls and white slipcovered furnishings they've used, but your blood pressure can't handle it, so take what you can use, maybe the white walls, but leave the rest.

Find your own secret ingredient, using things you already own, and mix up the recipe to create something new in your home without having to start from scratch with a whole new recipe, baking dishes, and oven!

Good design chefs come in all shapes and sizes, and they offer up all sorts of variations on those tried and true recipes.  My Color, Light, and Texture recipe isn't a one size fits all, it's just a recipe that has worked for me over the years.  Becoming a great decorator and creating a home you love isn't always about having the perfect, most expensive ingredients, it's really about taking the things you already have and whipping them in to something special that says something about you and the way you live!

And speaking of homes, my heart goes out to the people in Australia who are dealing with horrible flooding!  Our dear friend A-M is suffering firsthand the effects of this terrible natural disaster.  Please take a moment and stop by her blog (HERE) and send her, and all the others like her and her boys, a big virtual hug!  My thoughts are with all those who have lost so much!

You Might Be A Christmas Redneck If...and Other Outdoor Decor

Thank you everyone for your sweet comments about my dining room in my last post...I truly do appreciate each and every comment!

The last few days I've been outside in the cold and wind, both with the dogs and also trying to get my outside decor pulled together.  I always like to do something nautical on the exterior of our house since we live on the water, but this year I think I took it to a whole new "redneck" level!

You might be a Christmas Redneck If...you decorate with crab pots!  Yup, I got this bright idea the other day when I was down by our dock and saw our empty crab pots, which are retired until summer rolls around again.  I thought, hey, wouldn't it be neat to tuck a tree into the pot and then put my glass fishing float (that was a gift from the lovely Caroline at Ekster Antiques) next to it?!  Of course Mr. Tide helped with this endeavor, I love a man who doesn't question my crazy hairbrained ideas...he just nods and helps me find a tiny cedar tree!

Of course you can't have a crab pot without a crab right?!  This beautiful rusty crab garden stake came from my dear friend Traci.  She sent it to me for my birthday this year, and I LOVE it and quickly found a spot for it in the front flower bed right by the steps.  Thank you Traci!!!

Mr. Tide also helped wrap the fragrant pine roping around the porch.  I love having fresh greens both inside and outside this time of year...it just says Christmas is here to me!

I had hung several wreaths around the property earlier, but we added some pine roping to the fence as well to give it a more finished look.

While out running errands with my son yesterday I stopped by my grandparent's farm and grabbed some pine, holly, magnolia, and nandina berries to add to the porch.  Our property doesn't have many pine trees or magnolia, so I'm happy to still have a free source for some of my favorite greens!

Last year, I asked my sister if she knew where the old sleds we had as kids had gotten to.  We both agreed that they must be somewhere buried in the barn at the farm, but after searching tirelessly we came up empty handed.  

This year around my birthday my sister "M" informed me that she had something BIG that she wanted to give me and could she stop by one day to drop it off.  She had found not one, but 2 beautiful vintage sleds and I love how they look on my porch!  Now if I could only find my old ice skates to hang on one of them!!!

I love how glossy magnolia leaves are and how beautiful their bright green looks against the red nandina berries!

I also have a fresh wreath on my front door that I bought from a local Mennonite family.  They always have the best wreaths and they last for a very long time.  The one I chose for the front door has several pine cones sprayed white to resemble snow!

Tonight while I was doing other stuff, Mr. Tide graciously went out into the cold and wind to take a few pictures of our little crab pot tree.  I combined blue and white lights for a beachy feel.  The lights said they were blue, but they are really more of an aqua color...how lucky was that?!

I strung white lights inside the crab pot itself, and believe me I have the scrapes on my hands to prove it.  Next year I'll wear leather gloves!  I also tucked more nandina into the top of the crab pot for a little added color.

I'm sure a few city slickers out there will be rolling their eyes at my little redneck creation, but hey I'm lovin' it!

And if you want your very own crab pot tree...the real deal, not a redneck substitute...be sure to stop by The Painted Cottage!!!   Maybe next year I'll own one of these!

What decorations do you incorporate that could be considered a little bit country...or a little rock and roll?!

Sitting Pretty

Phew we had quite the day here in Maryland!  Tornadoes, flooding, and high winds...it was crazy and a little frightening to boot!  Our son wasn't able to make it back home from running with our local rescue squad overnight until this afternoon because some of the roads had been flooded and they needed every available person to help out so he stayed on past his shift.

I kept myself busy finishing up a story for Romantic Country Magazine, and hoped that no big tree limbs would come down or that the water would get too high.  Luckily we only had a few limbs fall and the water didn't get precariously high.  Thankfully, I think most people made it through the storm fairly well.

After I finished my story I decided it was time to take a few pictures of my latest project.  A little change up in the living room!

I've been wanting to update our living room for a while now.  Most of the upholstered pieces in this room are almost 15 years old...sheesh I can hardly believe that little factoid!  And although it's in wonderful shape because it hardly saw any use in our last house and rarely gets used in this house, it was time for a change.

The deep jewel tone green of the sectional sofa (now divided into a couch and loveseat) was fine in our last home which was a colonial and had a much more formal feel and not nearly as much natural light as the new house.  I haven't decided what I want to do with it yet, and waver back and forth between slipcovering it in a nice neutral linen, to getting rid of it completely and starting from scratch.

Instead of jumping in with both feet when I really wasn't sure what look I wanted for this room, I decided to start with baby steps.

I knew I wanted something completely different, but because that crazy thing called money always seems to rear its ugly head every time you want to completely change out a room, I decided to try recovering the dark wing chair in the corner that I still liked, except for its dark fabric.

So off I went to see my friend Sheryl of Slipcover Cottage, and seamstress extraordinaire!  She gave me swatches of fabrics to take home and mull over in all sorts of different lighting.

I'm a pretty decisive person, and normally have an image of exactly what I want even before I start looking for fabric, but this time I really hemmed and hawed over what look I was trying to achieve.  I knew I needed something that would still go with my green sofa, but I wanted something a little funky and unexpected.

In the end I chose a fabric in a color way that I would normally walk right past.  Orange mixed with magenta is not something I usually gravitate toward, so I shocked even myself when I picked the fabric above to use for my new slipcover!

And because this chair is has an unusual shape for a wing chair, there is no separate seat cushion and the arms have a strange build to them as well, I wondered just how easy it would be for Sheryl to create something that would stay put and look good!

But I should have known better, her work is always fabulous and once again she came through with flying colors!!!

And speaking of colors, I am loving this new bold print and the bright color combo, it completely changed the whole look of the room!  I love it when a small change has a huge impact!

So instead of boring, tired, and drab...

I am enjoying a little cool, funky, and fab!!  Hmm now all I need is a new seagrass rug, and some Ikea Ektorp sofas...now where are my car keys and GPS....Mr. Tide?!

I don't get compensated for telling you how great Sheryl's work is, but if you're in the market for new slipcovers I can't recommend her highly enough!

To see more transformations head over to Metamorphosis Monday over at Between Naps on the Porch!

and

Be sure to stop by Show and Tell Friday over at My Romantic Home