What Do You Think

Somewhere along the way my blog has evolved from a blog about design and decor to something completely different.  When I started this journey it was to showcase homes that I felt were wonderful and deserved seeing, but that might not suit the needs of any particular magazine.  You see, magazines can't just take homes willy nilly, they have to seriously consider if the homes they select will best suit the interests of their readers.  So they often have to pass up homes that are truly magazine worthy, but maybe just don't fit the niche market they serve.  It makes sense after all to feature homes that will keep readers coming back for more...I call that good business sense.

Because I've developed this love of photography I feel like my blog has moved in a completely new direction, one that rarely talks about beautiful homes or what's hot in the design world right now.  And I think because of that I've lost a bit of the momentum that got me to where I am.

I think that people have been somewhat disappointed when they click in here some days and see puppies instead of paint colors, or bird shots instead of photos of beautiful bathrooms.

So I've decided that maybe it's time for this little blog to move along, mosey on down the road and take a little break.  I know there have been times when I've thought I needed to walk away because life became so hectic or demanding that I couldn't see straight, but this time I think it's more like I'm just ready to pack up my bags and find a new place to hang out.

I simply can't seem to find my niche, one that will suit the needs of my readers and my own need to do what I want and in my own time.  I'm just not that person, the one who gets up at the crack of dawn and never sits down during the entire day.  I used to be that person and then my body finally said, "keep going Missy and we'll show you who's boss," and it did!

So a few years ago I found myself spending thousands of dollars to get healthy again as I'd let my thyroid and adrenals completely shut down all while keeping up a breakneck pace and pretending it wasn't happening.  I was a "doer" after all, the person you came to when you wanted something done or wanted advice or a quick answer, so how could I be the one now needing help?  But when you go to a doctor and they say to you that you have to slow down the pace at which you are going or you won't be here, well you tend to pay attention.  I was working 2 jobs at the time, trying to sell our last house for sale by owner, and then trying to remodel our current house. 

To show you what  knucklehead I can be, I ignored the doctor when she told me how serious things were, except I did quit my marketing job but continued with the writing.  Then the next doctor said the same thing, and then a 3rd, and I finally began to listen and follow their advice, which went against everything I've ever known.  They told me that I could exercise for 5 minutes a day!!!  Now I was exercising for a whole lot more than that at the time, and the idea that exercise could be bad for me when I had relied on it as an athlete my entire life just didn't sound right, but it was true.  When you are flooding your body with cortisol due to stress and then you go above your metabolic threshold by exercising and release even more cortisol, you actually make yourself much worse, and that's exactly what I was doing.  The harder life got, the more stress I took on, the more I pushed myself to power through it.

It taught me a valuable lesson though, and one that even if I don't remember it, my dear sweet husband does!  When the tide gets too high and the waters are moving in quickly he will remind me that I don't really want to go back to that place where my body took charge and I had to be very still and not do anything for a long time. 

So now that life is moving quickly and I have so much going on, well something has to give in return.  The question is what to let go?  I've had so many wonderful writing and photography opportunities to come my way this past year that I know I won't let those go.  And I'm far from being stressed in the way I once was, but I also recognize how quickly that can all change and how you can wake up one day and think, "how on earth did I let this all become so overwhelming?!"

I read several emails and posts by other bloggers recently, specifically Jo from Secret Garden Cottage where she ended her blog because it had all become so time consuming and stressful.  She found that she had given up the very things that caused her to create her blog to begin with!  I've had people write me thoughtful emails asking if it's really worth it to keep going with their blogs, lamenting the time they spend and the things they are missing out on as they struggle to create the next post.  And it reminded me of when Mr. Tide was very young in his career and traveled almost non stop.  He missed holiday after holiday and school events for the kids.  I looked at him one evening when he was home and I said "one day, when you are old and you are on your death bed, you won't wish that you'd attended one more meeting, but you will wish that you saw that school play or that ballet recital."  It wasn't long after that that he began looking for a new job, one that has allowed him to be "here" and participating much more than he once did.

I love it when you all tell me that a post I've written touches you, or brings back a special memory.  Those comments touch me in a way that I truly can't put into words.  But I feel guilty that I can't write you back and tell you how much that means to me, I just don't have the time!  I once asked Fifi how she does it, replying to the huge number of comments she gets on her blog?  She looked right at me and said "I don't!"  She said she doesn't have the time and she can only do what she can do.

So, do I keep blogging and turn off the comments, that way you can still read my posts?  Or am I so vain as to think that you even want me to keep blogging?  It is pretty presumptuous to assume that you would even care if I disappeared into thin air.  I love putting the crazy things that run through my head onto this blog of mine, but I worry that if I don't do my best to visit you, or comment back that you'll think I'm someone who thinks I'm better than you...we're all busy after all.

But friends it's more than that.  I simply CAN'T keep going at the pace I'm going, so I'll wait and see what you have to say, good, bad, or indifferent, at least I'll know which way to go from here.  Thank you!