Sunday, March 27, 2011

Authentic


My last post has been a long time in the making, and many of my closest blog friends saw the writing on the wall.  Like so many of my fellow bloggers, I'm an all or nothing kind of person.  If there was a type AAA personality that would be me!  I tend to assume that others have expectations of me, when often those expectations are self imposed.  Call it southern guilt as my friend Connie says, or whatever makes me feel this way.  As my daughter reminded me in a lovely email, I'm the one who always says "quit worrying so much what other people think!"

Too bad I often don't take my own good advice.  We women are famous for that though aren't we, tending to everyone else and putting ourselves last on the "to do" list.




Your comments actually made me cry, and let me tell you folks, that's saying something.  I didn't cry at my mother or my father's funerals, so it takes a lot to make me cry.  And maybe that's part of the problem too, maybe I am always trying to be so strong, so together, and so capable that I don't get to be as authentic as I should be.  As true to myself and I want to be.




I tell others to blog about what they love, not to worry what other people will think, not to care, and then I worry and care about those same things myself.  I wonder how many of us truly are able to go through life not giving a damn what anyone else thinks, I'm betting the numbers are fairly low.  Do we ever truly soar without fear of losing our way and the worry that we'll come crashing back to earth?!





When I started this blog of mine, one of my dreams was to get my writing out there in the hopes that I would eventually write for some major magazines.  I've been more than blessed to realize this dream and so much more thanks to my blog!  And for that I will forever be grateful.

Along the way, I have gained so much, but I have lost a little bit too.  I've lost time because I have invested a lot into my blog, and I've lost money too because the time I spend trying to keep all the plates in the air is time I should be using to reach the next set of goals I have.  I don't even know how bloggers who create, constantly decorate, and shop for their reader's pleasure are able to manage, I know I could not.




I have a family that supports me unconditionally, they are my biggest fans and my greatest cheerleaders and to say I'm lucky would be like saying the ocean has a little bit of water in it!  But it's time I stop just chasing dreams and work towards making them a reality and one that pays me in cold hard cash for my efforts.




When I started my blog, I was explaining how something crazy had happened to me that day.  My dear friend Julie said to me, "now that is a blog I would read!"  What she meant was that she loved seeing all the pretty pictures and beautifully decorated rooms, but to her, a blog she could relate to would be one where dogs aren't just cute but they sometimes also throw up.  Where houses are beautiful and dusty at the same time.  Authentic life, unfiltered, not retouched, hanging out there for all to see.

I can't be "that" authentic, but I think I need to change things to be more true to who I am and what I want.  Your responses have filled me with so much hope and better yet, courage.  Courage to be myself, to post what I want to post, to follow that great advice that I give to others but tend to ignore myself.

I will take time for myself and not worry if it's been 2 or 15 days since my last post.  I won't worry if I can't reply to comments or visit every blog in the universe.  I will be myself and I will learn that being still isn't being lazy, it's simply being quiet so that I can hear what "I" have to say to myself.  I won't placate myself and think, things will be fine now, and then find myself back in the same boat again just a few months from now.  This is a pattern that needs to be stopped dead in it's tracks.  I need to be who I am, for what it's worth.

My artwork was recently picked up by a lovely gallery, and when I got home my husband said "aren't you so excited?!"  I said "I'll be excited when someone buys something," which is so like me!  I will learn to cherish the joys and live in the moment!  I will turn those negative "what ifs" into positive "so whats" and I will be the only person I can be...ME!

So from the bottom of my heart, thank You for letting me be ME!  Where we'll end up at the end of the ride I still don't know, but thank you for getting in my banged up old pick up and riding along!

44 comments:

  1. Kat, may happiness, peace, and safety be your companions my friend. Thank you for always giving me encouragement in my photography. hugs♥olive

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  2. One can only juggle so many balls in the air, my friend. My children are grown and off on their own journeys. I'm not a social person at all in real life. So online communication is my comfort zone. I don't have to pay the bills myself. So I am in a different place than many. Still, I struggle with it, as does everyone. Showing pretty things and living life and managing, trying, to keep all the balls in the air and not falling on my head. Go with your heart.
    Brenda

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  3. Kat,
    I am so very proud of you. Happy for you and truly blessed that you decided to stay! I look forward to reading your blog everyday, one of only a few that I do read daily. Oh the excitement and anticipation I will have for the "in between" times waiting to see what's new in your life!
    So here's to kissing good bye the "What ifs" and saying hello to the "SO WHAT'S"!

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  4. Kat, it's wonderful to hear that you've found that happy medium. I'm so glad that you're cutting yourself that break, and really going for it with your dreams.

    I don't know if you saw my post about it, but your Sailing print arrived in the mail. I let out a "Yay!" and a little happy dance when it arrived. I'm looking for the perfect frame, and can't wait to mat it up. A friend was over the other day (CG was de-virusing her laptop,) saw it laying on my peninsula(still in it's plastic,) and commented on what a beautiful print it was. I know that you'll find success at the gallery.

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  5. I call shotgun Kat in your pickup!
    Here's to 'being still' and positive 'so whats'!
    xo Cathy

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  6. Yay! This is great news! Still, I totally understand where you are coming from. Blogging should be fulfilling to you - bottom line.

    Congrats on the studio picking up your work!

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  7. good news Kat!!! beautiful pictures also. Now remember this when you feel you need to post something but it just isn't what u wanted to post about.....i am sure we will all be here when that mood is right....

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  8. AMEN to this post, Kat! I really get where you are right now! You have to follow your OWN path in life...BIG congrats on the gallery artwork! XO

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  9. Well I had written to you and said I wanted to talk to you about that post but I see you got there on your own.

    Mostly I wanted to send you this:

    one day
    a long time from now
    you'll cease to care anymore about whom
    you please
    or what anybody says about you
    ~
    that's when you'll do your best work

    j.d.salinger

    Believing that, and removing my follower numbers has kept blogging balanced for me.

    Congratulations on the Gallery!

    xxx
    z

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  10. Congrats to you on your decision AND for your the gallery exhibit! I'm a little jealous of you to be able to get all of this off your chest and move on with your new attitude. Fly, baby!

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  11. Hey Kat, I somehow missed your last few posts. I totally get what you are saying and feeling. It has been a very long time since I have truly put myself at the top of the list. I often feel as though I was put here to serve others and that makes me really sad sometimes.

    I am so happy for your success with the photography...you are so talented and your work is just beautiful.

    Here's to keeping it real!

    xo kelley

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  12. Great post! I understand so much wanting to not give a darn, but then not really feeling. I have cried very few times since my grandmaw died when I was 15. I've been told I didn't want to FEEL it, so I've not felt much since then. It's a hard road to dig out the crap, but keep digging!! Congrats on the gallery.
    ~Laurie

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  13. Post when you can, but save the big chunks of time for the 'doing' - good luck!

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  14. Kat - thank you for all that you are and all that you've given us. Your blog posts and your pictures are an absolute joy!

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  15. Bravo Kat!!!!!!

    Last year you encouraged me to put my art "out there" and you know that recently I followed that advice. It has been an amazing experience and if I can get past all the orders I'm filling, I'll be opening my own Etsy store (later this week).

    I stepped out of my comfort zone thanks to you and honey, I love the view! I hope your doing the same thing is as much a blessing to you.

    Now don't you dare respond to this comment or I'll hunt you down and slap you silly. (just kidding about the hunting down part, but you catch my drift.)

    Hugs

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  16. Hear hear - much of that could have been my own words.

    x

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  17. I love this! I am so happy for you because this blog is for you. It is very easy to give advice and not listen to it yourself, I am very good at that as well. :) You are on a new path with your photography and that is the goal at hand as well as family and if we can still get glimpses inside your journeys, that will be wonderful! Blogging should be a good experience not an obligation.
    I hope you had a wonderful weekend my friend and good luck with things next week!!

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  18. this is a wonderful post :) i love how real you are when you write. that in itself keeps me coming back and inspires me.

    big hugs friend

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  19. Hi Kat,

    Everything that you have said is so true. We must be true to ourselves and do what feels right. Then you will find your way without worry.

    hugs
    Sissie

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  20. You know Kat - you are one of the MOST authentic people I have ever met! Your ability to be able to constantly self-evaluate and open your heart for all to see is a quality only a very few have. You truly do "See Beauty in the Simple Things" and I feel priveledged to have been able to sit in the back of your battered old "ute" (I am an Aussie afterall!) and come along for the ride. Warm wishes always - ;)Sharyne

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  21. Kelly J/Hunters HillMarch 27, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Kat I love these osprey pics. I was just thinking this morning the osprey must feel confused that they just returned and now it is snowing !!
    Thank you so much for the great magazine and the LOVELY notecards which was an extra sweet surprise.
    Congrats on the gallery picking up your work! You know we love your work here, your pictures and the decorating shots (like the recent Beatrix Potter figurines) are inspiring and we're just happy to see you here whenever we can!

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  22. Kat, hugs!! I am so proud of you and I love your artwork!!

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  23. Yayyy, Kat!!! THIS is the way it's SUPPOSED to be. Blog when you have something to say, and do't blog if you don't. We WANT to hear about your puppies (and we would be disappointed if we didn't). We love having YOU, the real you, whatever that turns out to be. Wait a minute, what pick-up???

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  24. Lovely photos and a post that makes perfect sense! I will read it again and try to take it to heart as well! I think many of us are getting overwhelmed at exactly the same time! Hugs to you, my friend! Enjoy your week! ♥

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  25. You can't go wrong when you stay true to yourself. Be encouraged that many of us share the same feelings. I appreciate you taking the time to share your heart and I hope that you will post when it's enjoyable.
    Well, I said all that to tell you, Congrats on the Gallery artwork!!! That's really something special! I hope it leads to many more opportunities! ~M

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  26. Stay true to you Kat. Your photos are so perfect and timely. I'm sending you a link via email about authenticity.

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  27. I am thrilled to see that you are blogging for YOU. I love seeing your nature shots and they have truly inspired me to get out more and take more pictures of the world around me. Keep 'em coming!!!

    Best wishes,
    Natasha.

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  28. Yours is the ONLY blog I follow so I would miss you terribly. I enjoyed your latest piece in the local magazine. My husband and I looked at the house when it was on the market and saw the potential. Happy to see the results by a talented builder.

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  29. Kat, your post here could have been written by me. I get YOU, I sooooooooooo understand YOU! Maybe we were seperated at birth - perhaps maybe even twins. (insert a giggle here). Kudos for you to have shared your heart and thoughts with us. Oh yes, there is always the old culprit Mr. Dust hiding in the shadows here, waiting for his opportunity to be featured on the blog. But, I don't share him or the growing stack of dirty clothes, the messy bathroom, the piles of papers waiting to be shredded next to my messy desk.

    You are you, and that is what I like about you!!!

    hugs,
    Becky

    PS: breathe!

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  30. PS: I am so excited about the gallery picking your work up!! That is wonderful!

    Your photos today are priceless!

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  31. Fantastic .... I find myself missing posts for weeks in a row, depending what is happening in my own life. Completely understand that is what happens to everyone else too!

    The osprey photos are incredible! I am sharing them with my little gnomes, as we were observing a nest along the water last week. This is a much better view!

    Hugs!

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  32. Kat,

    As I've already said before, you have an amazing talent! I am so thrilled to have been one of the many who were able to look into the window of your world through this blog. Your posts and photographs have been uplifting, thought provoking and have given me a greater sense of the little things that matter in life.

    I have no doubt that your artwork will fly off the shelves of the gallery and I hope that will bring you great pleasure! I also hope that you'll take some time to catch your breath and savor all of the sweet things that surround you!

    All my love and hugs to you pretty lady! I'll be seeing you!

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  33. I hope you fly as free as the hawk in those amazing pictures you posted. I'll continue to follow just because, but I don't really care if you write about dogs, houses, birds, photography, any, or all of the above. Your creative spirit moves your words, and they are worth reading any time.

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  34. Yay Kat! I'm so happy that you'll be keeping us posted in your little corner of the world that I truly have come to look forward to hearing about. Those are some gorgeous osprey images. I have never been able to get them in flight so clear like that. WOW! xo ~Lili

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  35. Kat,
    That is the right philosophy to have. Yay for you!

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  36. Hi Kat, it's Ocean Soul Karen here, you know, the complete opposite to your type AAA...I am type ZZZ (yup, I'm okay with catching Z's!). I appreciate you Type AAA's. I cannot relate at all to you Type AAA's, but you encourage me to get off my butt! I hope that as a Type ZZZ, I can encourage you to take an afternoon nap...or even take some time to read that crazy awesome book, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. Your painting in a gallery, irregardless of purchases, is something to be so excited and thankful about! Take time (not guilt) to enjoy everything. But most of all, enjoy being who God made you to be! Our world needs every type from AAA to ZZZ! Ocean Soul Blessings to you Kat!

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  37. Since I began coming here, I saw you and your photography transform into who you are today. Kat, your photos of the osprey are quite good. If I were a jealous person, which I am not at all, I would be green with envy. But I am a generous person, and am filled with pride for you.
    You are beautiful.

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  38. Dearest Kat- spectacular photos my friend. Good luck to you in your newest venture at the art gallery? I'm so glad you will continue your blog- on your own terms and as you have the time. I would surely miss you if you were not here-
    Vicki

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