Friday, August 20, 2010

Seriously?!

If you came here looking for a happy go lucky post today...click the EXIT button NOW!

When I started this blog I told Mr. Tide that this would be a place for happy, relaxing posts, a place to escape for my readers and me!  But sometimes life has a way of changing even the best laid plans.  It's not that I don't want to keep things real on here, but I know that we all have things going on in our lives that make us want to visit blogs and see pretty pictures and read funny posts to get away from our everyday problems, and trust me we all have them!

A few days ago I met with a friend who had her whole world come tumbling down on her last year and as we talked I realized that we can't always be Suzy Sunshine.  She said that when her life imploded she felt like she was the only one, and that it wasn't until she started talking to others and hearing their stories that she realized things weren't so bad after all.

The last 5 weeks have been almost overwhelming for me, ok to be honest, the last 7 years have been a bit overwhelming.   But the last month and a half has really been exhausting and stressful.  It started with Ms. M's stroke which was very reminiscent of my own mother's stroke 7 years ago.  And taking on the care and responsibilities of someone who is not a family member, but who you consider to be one, is overwhelming in and of itself.

Now, let's throw on top of that the fact that one of my dearest friends in the world has entered hospice care in the UK for a brain tumor and I can't get to him to give him a hug or see him one more time!  That my baby is leaving for college in less than one week and I'm not a big fan of the empty nest situation!  And although I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world, his job can take him anywhere in the world (and I mean anywhere) at a moment's notice...!!! My health hasn't been the best in the last 5 years and I finally got normal bloodwork for the first time in 3 years, but I still have a long road ahead of me.  That I work full time and that my house was struck by lightning night before last!!!  Seriously?!  Did I really need ONE more thing on my plate at the moment?!

That's right, our house suffered a direct hit from a big bolt of ligthning a couple nights ago and fried nearly every electronic device in it!!!  The computers, ie. all of my work stuff, all of my photos, you name it!  The phones, my husband's computer, the lighting in half of the house, the AC, the garage door openers....the list goes on and on.

But you know what?  It could have been so much worse.  The house could have caught on fire and we could have lost everything, so for that I am very grateful!!!  Stuff is just that, it's stuff and it can be replaced.  And although this proverbial camel has reached her current limit on straws I know that my load is no greater than so many people out there.

I have loving friends and family, I have a house to come home to, I have sweet puppies that sense my stress and give me a nuzzle and a kiss to help me feel better, so life is good!  But hey, that doesn't mean I can't whine a bit, complain some, and feel a wee bit sorry for myself too.  We're all entitled to that I think!

Next post I promise will be a happy one, or maybe it won't be but I think it will...it's like the song lyrics to one of my favorite songs say....

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd 
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want too

Just Breathe!!! 

I have a new laptop to use until we can see if we are able to recover anything from my beloved desktop!  And we'll be investing in an external hard drive this weekend.  On the bright side, this gives me an excuse to take lots of new pictures!!!

I hope each of you have a wonderful relaxing weekend and that you get a chance to Breathe!

55 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear all the stress you are under at the moment.
    Thinking of you
    ~Sam x
    PS - my earings have arrived and I love them. Thank you so much x

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  2. I know you want to keep your blog positive, and although you have suffered a loss in your home from the lightning it's a good thing to let us all know that you are keeping a positive attitude over the situation. Just breathe indeed. Things are just things and you'll always hold the pictures you took in your head. Memories cannot be taken by lightning.

    Sending warm wishes your way.
    Di

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  3. Hang in there. You've hit some bumps, that's for sure, but look around you at where you live, for one thing. Not at what you have, or your house, or your ruined electronics, but the physical environment you inhabit. SOMD is gorgeous, it is a hidden gem, the air is clear, the water surrounds you. You are envied by me, for one. Breathe it all in and realize it and relish in it. We're coming down to visit our daughter this Sunday who's moved into a new house in Lexington Park for the school year. It is our first time "out of town" in a year, and I cannot wait. And you LIVE there all the time. Go for a walk on the beach and enjoy!!!

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  4. So sorry to hear about crisis upon crisis Kat, but venting is part of a blog, so use it! Too much happy-happy equals denial, and it's bad for us.
    Stick with the puppies.
    p.s. empty nest isn't as bad as you think...

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  5. Oh Kat, I am so sorry to hear of your woes. You can wallow any time you want to! We will still be hear to listen. I wish I could say something to make you smile. Believe me, you are not alone. The world has become a difficult place and so much is expected from us. Technology has not brought us more time, just lots more to do. Now, we are even expected to do things the "natural, from scratch, holistic" way (stress, stress, stress). Women especially, have been expected to continue being all things to all people in addition to the full time job!
    We take car of the endless details in life and this is major cause of stress.
    We like the details, we are good at it, making everything just so...exhausting! Let go of some details for a little while and take care of yourself. Taking a step back and realizing you can "only do so much", re-prioritizing, and simplifying will help...I know. Hoping you feel better soon!!!

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  6. Oh my word, all of that is enough to stress anyone out. You just vent all you want to. It does the soul and the body good. I sure hope better days are ahead. Hugs, Marty

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  7. Kat, I hear you and venting is good. A child going to college is stressful and along with all the rest the plate tipped. I have an external hard drive but you have to remember to use it. I will pray that you can rest and find some place of calmness. bighugs♥olive

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  8. Kat, if you want to whine you just do that and we will listen and be that shoulder to cry on. My goodness when it rains it pours. So sorry you have had so much stress. I love my new laptop and I have to get an external hard drive, too. I sure hope things start looking up! Like you said Breathe!

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  9. So sorry to hear you've got so much on your plate. Sometimes when I can't take anymore I just go take a nap, or go for a walk in the woods.

    I'm glad you shared. Blogland is a happy place, but also a very supportive place. We all need reminding sometimes that even though we are going hard things in our lives, many others have it so much worse. I'm praying for you.

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  10. Kat, whine away!! You have had a rough 7 years it sounds like and everyone deserves to whine every now and again! I'm glad that you opened up to us and let it all out-I hope you feel better (I always feel better when I unload!). Your blog is a highlight in my day and I love all the pictures, people and sights you share with us! Keep doing what you are doing and unload every once in a while-it is healthier for you SMILE!!

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  11. Well, I can't believe you are going through all of this and working full time. I am going through a number of those things, but I am so glad I don't have to work! My house was struck by lightening back in the 60's before we purchased it. It still has charred timbers in the attic, but they are sound. There was quite a fire....but thankfully the neighbor saw it in the night when it was struck and the firemen came right away. About two weeks ago the lightening hit very close and knocked things off our walls and one of our air handlers was taken out. We are supposed to get the part today for it. Thankfully we have more than one air handler.
    My MIL died this Feb of Alzheimer's and my FIL had a stroke 2 years ago. He is in an assisted living place which really suits him because he loves people and playing games, and leading devotions etc. He is amazing , but he didn't want to live with us for our sakes and because he would be bored to death! ha! He is involved in several different projects including being on the Literacy council board. He is paralyzed down one side of his body, but he is blessed.

    Anyways, the longer one gets to know others, the more we see how many hardships they are going through and if not right now, they will. Thankfully God gives the grace one day at a time!

    Hope things start improving for you!

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  12. Kat you just be who you are. We all know that life can be stressful and not always happy go lucky. I can totally relate to stress right now. We are all here for you and if you need to vent, go right ahead :) Blogland is great and there are so many supportive people. Sorry you are having so much stress right now and I will keep you in my prayers.

    Hang in there Sweetie :) Everything will settle down and hopefully sooner than later for you. Have a great weekend!

    Hugs ~ Laura

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  13. Hi Kat, I always have believed in the cyclical nature of the world, and indeed have had a long down cycle myself. However, it passes and the cycle moves upward and you will find your self carried towards better days..... and more positives than negatives.

    A magical thing happens when kids go way....they come back different. More appreciative of you, and closer. It is so exciting when they return for thanksgiving or Easter etc....a lovely new anticipation to see them.

    Go have a big Mohito tonight and sit on your porch looking at that beautiful river and listen to the crickets and know that your friends and blog buddies are sending goog wishes and hugs your way today when you seem to need them.

    Hugs to you. Cheers.

    Chania

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  14. sorry for your disaster but so glad you and your loved ones are fine.

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  15. Glad you are fine, but wow! That's a lot! I know somewhat how you feel - lots of stuff going on, and I'll be an empty nester next week too......:( I was thinking it would be not such a big deal, but I'm feeling lonely.
    I'll be thinking of you!

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  16. Kat, I do not think you are whining at all. I think you are being very realistic and logical. You are just venting and trying to sort out how to feel and deal!! This blog is a personal journey for you and you just needed to keep it real. I hate when real life gets in our way but it does and always will. I think you are grounded and have a good perspective of what is important.What was paramount in your post was the people that you love and care about the other stuff will take care of itself but you just want to take care of your people!! God is the ultimate caregiver and he is there to lean on so I think a little bit of leaning is in order. Hang in there and remain your thankful nature for what is important, the love in your life, Kathysue

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  17. Kat, I am truly sorry things have been difficult lately. You know if you need to vent that we are all here for you. Just lean on your blogging friends for support. We have all been there!
    Take care, Sherry

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  18. There must be something in the air, Kat. My last post was equally ventful. :-)

    Better days ahead...and yes, BREATHE.

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  19. Oh boy, do some of us understand! I too blog in part to take a break of the stress of real life. Unfortunately sometimes real life steps in and takes us for spin. It's hard to pretend everything is fine when is isn't. I don't think anyone I've met so far really expects that either. That lightening was one blow you didn't need right now for sure. So sorry to hear of everything you are going through and will pray for you. I am thankful that it didn't burn your house too and destroy that beautiful kitchen of yours. Take care!

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  20. Oh goodness, have a whine! this is the best place to do it and your readers appreciate that you are real and honest. we also can send you the biggest virtual (((((hug)))))'s to make it all just a little bit more bearable. thinking of you and hoping things get just a little bit easier and that you find the strength to cope with the challenges in your life at present. A-M xx

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  21. Sometimes stress is God's way of telling us to "breathe." If you were lived close to me in the Outer Banks I would take you to the beach and you would feel better instantly!

    Just breathe...

    Nancy

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  22. I'm so sorry about all of the stress you have been under, but I think it's good that you have a place to vent a bit. We are always here to listen. I believe things have a way of working themselves out and they will for you too. Hang in there!

    xoxo
    Jane

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  23. Kat - So sorry! If it makes you feel any better - know that we've all been there (but it always seems like everyone else has it better, doesn't it?) Hope things turn around, soon!
    -Trish

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  24. Hi Kat,
    I think that blogging give us an opportunity to express ourselves completely and openly. There are so many wonderful people here ready to listen to you and encourage you to keep on keepin on.

    I will say some prayers for you that your stress load will lighten and things will be better.

    hugs
    Sissie

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  25. You hid it well. I had no idea any of this was going on. I don't even know what to say except that my heart goes out to you, and to your dear friend in the UK.

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  26. I am so sorry Kat! Life does get overwhelming at times, that I know and it is ok to yell, whine, scream or whatever makes you feel ok at the moment. Everything always seems to happen at once. You and your friend are in my prayers as well as Ms. M's continuing recovery! Take a big deep breath and we are all here to listen to you anytime! Please take care of yourself and go take lots of beautiful pictures to help ease your mind. :)

    Hugs to you!

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  27. Oh Kat....It REALLY is relevant to one's world....I mean it's OK to try & minimise the impact the 'crap' going on in our lives is having on us by saying it could be so much worse but really, when it's in our OWN back yard it can seem ALL consuming....!

    I certainly don't hold it against you for coming here & venting....In fact....If I could, I'd wrap my arms around you & give you a BIG Aussie hug....Our hugs are famous around the world let me tell you for their soothing properties....I'm afraid though the cyber hug I'm sending instead will have to do....!

    Take care lovey....And breathe....!!

    Cheers,
    Tamarah :o)

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  28. Oh Kat, I'm so sorry for the additional stress the lightening strike has caused you. I hope you can take some time to relax soon. It's funny but I was thinking that you hadn't really taken any time off this summer - work, work, work can only go on so long. I'm sending soothing vibes your way.

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  29. Jo in New Prague, MNAugust 20, 2010 at 9:55 PM

    I'm sending you a hug - all the way from Minnesota. Can you feel it? Everyone who reads your blog cares about you, and you must consider us friends. You can tell us anything and hopefully, when you are done for the day, you feel just a little better. We all care.

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  30. Oh Kat you certainly are a trooper and I'm glad you shared all of this with us, even if it was prompted by the final straw so to speak. (We too had the last house we lived in struck by lightening, not just once though, it happened twice.) So sorry you are going through this on top of everything else and I hope things will start to settle down a bit for you soon, or at the least I hope you can just take some "down" time for yourself to help sort it all out. You have lots of people holding you in their hearts right now, me included. Take care sweet Kat. ~Lili

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  31. I am a great person to vent to, my ears are open and objective. Lightening would have sent me over the edge too. You are strong!

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  32. Kat, first let me say that I am thankful that you and your family and dogs are safe and sound.
    Then, I want to say that I think it's very important to be able to vent. Putting on a happy go lucky face all the time isn't the real deal and it's shallow. You have just shown all of us what a fantastic person you are and with great depth of character. I told you in emails about what happened to my parents and about a year later my dear friend Ron passed away of pancreatic cancer and it was followed by another year of stress. It was impossible to always be cheery and I learned what wonderful people my friends were...by just letting them be my friends and caring. We are all your friends and please lean on us to help you through this time.

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. GRRR....
    I lost my comment.
    So, here it goes,
    in the abbreviated
    form...
    Be good to YOU.
    Take SOME time to
    just BE. You are
    dealing with things
    that individually
    would be so stressful;
    altogether it's just
    SO much. Please,
    please, dear friend,
    get a massage, take a
    walk, see a movie...
    And know that your
    bloggy friend from up
    north is thinking about
    and praying for you.
    Love and big hugs,
    xx Suzanne

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  35. I enjoy your blog so much! And I do use it as an escape from real life. So I hope you can get some small pleasure from knowing you provide that for people out here in the cyber world.

    And I am very sorry to hear of your struggles of late. It is true that when you hear of the struggles of others, it often makes your own seem very small. But just to add extra, please know that you are being covered with prayer from near and far.

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  36. WOW ~ Your blog coincides with what I wrote about the other day myself...... I have so much "STUFF" going on in my life right now, that my blog has to become secondary.....
    I HOPE that all works out for you! I LOVE YOUR BLOG!
    Cindy

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  37. Kat ... dear Kat. I'm so sorry things are so stressful for you now. So much happening at the same time, with little time to exhale. Hug your dogs, cry to your husband, and whine all you want here. I'm only a phone call away, and I can be there in no time. You know my number.
    Connie

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  38. OMG!!!!! I'm glad you shared with us, I've opened up a few times on my blog and the support from our blogging community really got me through some rough days. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows and I don't think any of us expect that. Isn't that what true friendship is about, being there in good times and bad?

    Last year my external hard drive was physically damaged and a wonderful company not only retrieved all of my information (which included all of my work files as a graphic designer), but knowing that I was not a high-end client did it for half price. Still cost me almost a $1000, but it helped me keep my job and my sanity.

    Now I have two externals and back-up regularly. Also I turn them off and unplug them every night. We have far too much lightning around here to take a chance.

    I know you have a GREAT attitude, but I know you're going through a lot, so whine when you feel the need, we'll be here to offer support and a shoulder to cry on. It's nice to know we're all human and we all have our trials and tribulations. It's also nice to know that every blogger doesn't have a perfect life and we're all in this together.

    xoxoxoxoxoxox

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  39. You have been carrying so many huge burdens around! I am s sorry the pile-on condition seem to be living in your home with you. Bless you dear heart.
    You are going through so much, and yet you have brought joy to so many... including me. One on your list would have been enough heartache, but you continue on giving a sancturary for all of us through much pain.
    I am so glad that you wrote this post. I now know how to pray for you. May God bring His presence big in your life and fill you with relief and peace.
    I hope it helps to know that there are so many that care about you and that you are a true treasure!
    From a devoted blogging freind!
    Yvonne

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  40. Sweet Kat,

    I understand about wanting to be upbeat, but sometimes it's better to be real when your heart is breaking. It's only when people have an idea what you are experiencing, that you will find an outpouring of support greater than you could imagine. While none of us can walk in your shoes, but we all can support you as you face the trials.
    The Breathe video is beautiful! What a wonderful reminder.
    Please keep us updated as time progresses.

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  41. Blogs are such a wonderful way to express ourselves and share our world with others but they can also give such a false sense of a perfect world. The don't worry, be happy syndrome. Unfortunately we all live in the real world filled with stress, responsibilities, illness, grief and we just can't possibly always be "on" as some bloggers would like us to believe.

    You certainly have more than your share of physical and emotional tests right now and hopefully expressing your feelings among those who enjoy your blog will help to give you sunny days soon.

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  42. What a week - all that and lightening too. Keep breathing, and we'll breath with you.

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  43. I'm sorry. I think most of us are feeling about the same. Life happens.
    Kathy

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  44. I'm sorry to hear all that..., good inspirational books have always helped me a lot..., along with quiet reflecting time to myself.

    When I hear a thunder (faint and distant)..., believe it or not..., I'm unplugging everything in the house, phone, computer, TV..., so I definitely keep doing that.

    I wish you all the best on your path!!

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  45. Kat,
    This doesn't sound like whining to me at all...but, you know what...with all of this, I think it would be perfectly ok to whine like hell!

    I remember all too well a period not long ago, when my husband was out of the country and I was trying to navigate the college application process with my son, and we had those 3 snow storms, and cars, appliances and electronics kept breaking down...boy do I wish I had been blogging then!

    Deep breaths are definately in order for you!

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  46. Oh Kat...I am so sorry to hear life is piling up on you right now~ it can REALLY be overwhelming sometimes. I hope you can take some time to rest and refresh yourself~ even just sit by the water with a good cup of coffee or tea, get a pedicure or massage, exercise, or work in the garden for awhile. It's the only way you can get through times like this. There are many of us out here who understand and care about you! I'll keep you in my prayers that this stressful time passes FAST for you! XOXO

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  47. OMG Kat, I had no idea you were dealing with so much icky stuff. And to think lightening struck your house? Seriously? Hang in their my dear. We are all here for you. I'll be thinking of you when your nest becomes empty. That is a hard one for sure. So sorry to hear about your friend in the UK. So sad.

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  48. Hi sweet friend. I am so sorry it has been so long since I have had the chance to stop by. I am also sorry to hear that you have so much to deal with at them moment. You are such a kind-hearted gal. I know how upsetting it must be for you not to be able to get to see your friend and I am so very sorry, but I am certain that he knows how much you care Kat. As for the empty nest...I am with you!! Please don't ever feel the need to warn us about an unhappy post. We are all followers because we love what you have to say and because of the lovely person that you are! If you cannot express yourself on your own blog, then where can you? Sorry for the ramble. Wish I could give you the hugest hug. Thinking of you across the miles. ~ Tina xx

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  49. I will tell my secret- my old parents live in another country, They are sick, dont have this own home, not wather in,no toilet, cold in winter, hot in summer, money for poor food and chip medicine. I am not very better, I cant help them, I cant sleep, I feel bad, stuped ...
    Sorry about my English.
    I realy like you- by happy. Love-Ag

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  50. So...now I'm worried about you. We haven't heard from you in many, many days and we miss you.
    Let me tell you about my empty nest experience. When my youngest son went to college (only 30 minutes away!) i woke up the next morning feeling almost clinically depressed. Everything was gray and I was desperately sad.
    So....I decided to give myself 24 hours of grieving. I wallowed in the sadness, cried/sobbed intermittently throughout the day, and ate alot of chocolate. When the sun set that day, I felt much, much better.
    Not that i didn't still miss him, but i allowed myself the full depths of grieving and luxuriated in it for one whole day.
    Sending a big hug, and hope to see your blog percolating again soon.
    Carol

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  51. Kat,
    I'm so sorry that all of this stress is going on in your life...I will be sure to keep youin my prayers. I feel that I can relate to you...this summer has not been a good one for my family...lots of illness...Mr.CC's robbery and the oil spill about got the best of me...I just kept praying and God has been there for me all the way and I know he will be there for you too:)

    Blessings,
    Linda

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  52. Dearest Kat-
    If you can not share here- then where can you?
    We are honored listeners/readers.
    The last 18 months of my life has been similarly stressful.
    All I know to do is-as my father says-
    Keep a tight rein.
    Things begin to pass over time.
    Suzanne's comment was right on...
    do something for your self.

    You are loved,
    Laura
    White Spray Paint

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  53. I love your honesty ... somehow we all gain blessing out of adversity ...
    You seem to carry on quite well.
    your strength is evident ...
    I'm praying for you dear new friend ...

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  54. Oh Kat, I don't know how I managed to miss this post, but I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you're having at the moment. You're such a caring and generous person, you really are an inspiration and I hope that you take comfort from all the love and support you have out there. I'm sending you strength and love, and I do hope things start to turn the corner for you very soon. K xxx

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