Thursday, August 1, 2013

Just So You Know


Recently, a group of old friends were supposed to come to my house for dinner.  As a group, we don't see each other often, maybe once or twice a year, even though we live within a 10 mile radius of one another, but we talk more frequently and know that we would be there for one another if we ever needed something.

We've been friends since elementary school, so we are all connected, and have a shared history.  Before the dinner, slowly but surely things began to fall apart.  One friend was heading out of town and had realized she was running out of time to get everything done that she needed to, and when I texted another friend to see if she still wanted to come she said, "I'm hella busy, can we do it next month?"  The other friend had a work obligation, so she was out of the mix early on, and finally my last friend and I decided that with just the two of us we would wait and reschedule for another day.

The reason I'm telling you this story is because that's how life is sometimes, and it's ok.  None of us was upset that things fell through, because we all have demands on our time and we all know that if it didn't happen that day it would happen another time.  That's the beauty of true friends, they "get" that life gets in the way of our fun sometimes, but it's never because we don't want to be with one another.

I hear from time to time in the blog world about people being upset that others never visit them, or that emails  and comments go unanswered and they feel hurt by this.  Of  course I can understand if someone is ignoring you and you feel you have a friendship with them, and that that friendship is not reciprocated.  But often times when I don't immediately return emails or never get to answering comments, it's not because I don't want to, or that I don't really care about that person on the other side of my computer screen, sometimes it's just because life reared its ugly head and priorities shifted.

I once had a friend tell me that if I didn't send her a Christmas card the following year that she would no longer be sending me one.  I was kind of taken aback, and wondered why getting a Christmas card would mean so much more to her then me calling her from time to time throughout the year as I did.  Did a card or letter outlining all the great things supersede the "real" life conversations we had over the phone?  Apparently it did, and we haven't communicated in years.  

So, just so you know, if we are to be friends, you will have to be patient with me, and I promise I will be patient with you.  If days go by and I don't respond, it's not because I don't care, or that I don't think of you, it's because life got in the way and took me from the "wants" headlong into the "needs."  And we all know that needs are so much bossier than the wants. ;-)

10 comments:

  1. Excellent . . . if friends this is precisely how it should be . . .

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  2. You are the best kind of friend, the patient kind. I know exactly what you mean, and how friends accept a change of plans with good grace. I have friends like that too. Bless your heart.

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  3. Lovely post, Kat! And that photo is amazing!

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  4. I think the people you have the least contact with, but when you do talk or see each other, it's like you had just seen them yesterday, are the true friends. I have several people I went to high school with (decades ago!!) who I see maybe once a year. When we get together, it's like no time had elapsed between visits at all. Friends don't make demands and they understand how life often gets in the way. I have only friends in my life. I have discovered I don't need others' negativity, demands, etc and my life is much more peaceful. And yes, that photo is incredible. Your work is just beautiful.

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  5. Amen to everything you said. And a big WOW for that gorgeous hummingbird image! xo

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  6. What a perfectly written post dear Kat. I love that you were able to put into words what I feel also. Life is demanding for so many of us and the reason we have blogs are so diverse that we cannot expect everyone to follow certain unwritten rules. I am so glad that I went back to read the posts I have missed here so I could see this one (and that beautiful heron post too) it says so much of what I feel too.
    many hugs...

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  7. Kat, A lovely post! Life just happens. I all is well with you today! Bonnie

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