Sometimes I feel like a lousy friend. Not because I want to be, but because work gets in the way of connecting with friends and then...well, you end up having to give somewhere and these days, that seems like on the friend front.
I have some really cool stuff going on with work, and sadly I can't reveal what it is quite yet...soon I hope. But because I'm so busy creating and doing work stuff, I find that when the end of the day rolls around I am just too tired to sit down and try and reconnect with those I really want to connect with...ie friends!
I think we all feel this way sometimes, the last time I felt this way was when my kids were younger and I had a lot going on so life revolved around family and home. Thankfully, I still have that network of my kids and husband...plus my dogs, but for the past few years I feel like sometimes making time with my good friends has become hard.
And it's not just me, they are all really busy too, so we feel like power brokers trying to sneak in a lunch or chat on the phone. It seems crazy to me really since you would think that with our kids grown things would have slowed down a bit, but actually I think they have sped up...sometimes at breakneck speed!
And then there is this blog and all of the wonderful friends I have made since I started it just 2 years ago. I used to love the email chats, phone calls, and occasional meet ups that I had time for when I was just writing, but those days are long gone. And it's kind of like with my local friends, we are all so busy doing our own things that it's not just me finding it difficult to find a balance where we can stay connected without becoming completely frazzled in the process.
I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about the emails or comments I haven't responded to...ones I REALLY wanted to respond to, and it makes me feel sad and more than a little guilty.
For now I will have to pick and choose my battles though, because in order to get my business up and running I have to put 110% of my efforts toward that right now. And of course I just can't let my family fall to the back burner, so they stay at the top of my "to do" list always. I love that opportunity is knocking at my door, but I refuse to let it knock me off my feet, so I have to slow down sometimes.
But on days like yesterday, when I popped in to my friend Melissa Geimer's (or Missy's) beautiful shop, The Right Mix, in Leonardtown, I was reminded of how much I miss being able to just be, and having the luxury of hanging out sometimes.
Missy is a gorgeous person both inside and out, someone so generous of spirit that you think she could have been the heroine in a fairytale. I plan to do a whole photo shoot at her shop very soon, so stay tuned...and if you're reading this Missy, get a website girl! ;-) Up until a few months ago she was part of a local antique mall, but she recently branched out on her own. Her shop is perfectly named and she has a great mix of antique furniture, accessories, lighting, and artwork. Her taste is impeccable, and she has brought a little bit of Europe to quiet rural southern Maryland...and I love that!
After I visited with her, and she sent me on my way with the gorgeous antique blue and white creamer you see in this post (plus a few other goodies I will show you soon), I thought about how wonderful it was to see her. We last saw one another at a wedding back in September...time flies! She is going 100 mph trying to get her store up and running, and if you live in the area I highly recommend you pop by to check out her wares. She has everything from Russian samovars to breathtaking antique oil paintings framed in equally beautiful gilded gesso frames that would be at home hanging in the rooms and corridors of Downton Abbey.
We talked about our new endeavors and she told me how excited she was for me, the way true friends do. And I couldn't help but ooh and ahh at all of her hard work and feel happy that she was finally where she should be, in charge of her own destiny and in a place where she can showcase her many talents. I know that it's only a matter of time before designers in the DC metro area find out about her and come calling to snap up her amazing inventory!
When I got home. I thought about how really lucky I am, and that I just need to be patient and eventually I too will find my right mix. I will learn to balance a new career and still find time to keep up with the other things that are important to me. I've done it before, so I know I will learn again, but there are always growing pains I suppose.
So for now, I will focus on the things that need my attention the most and I will hope that I don't offend anyone as I find my way. I'm more excited about this new venture than I can even verbalize so I know it will all be worth it in the long run!
Do you feel pulled in a million different directions all at once? And if so, how do you make it all work?
Thank you Missy!!!
For more info on hours and the exact location for The Right Mix ...Antiques, Furnishings & Collectibles (located along Route 5 next door to Guy Distributors in Leonardtown, Maryland) you can email missygeimer@yahoo.com or by phone at 480-365-8871. She hopes to have a website up and running soon, and I will let you know all about it when she does.
Kat, did you write this post for me? I kid you not, this is exactly the same predicament that I am in. I feel so bad that I cannot devote enough time to visit blog friends and friends around here. You are awesome and thank you for calling me a few weeks ago. I was at work and feel bad to have missed your call. ((hugs))
ReplyDeletelove ya!
Becky
OH Kat...I think we all identify...it just seems there's never enough hours in the day. And I think its great to sometimes take a step back...so we can see where we are going! I hope you know I am happy just to read your happenings when you have time...you never have to feel guilty with me, my friend! I am happy you are living life! These photos are stunning, Kat...I LOVE this combination of elements and colors! XO
ReplyDeleteWe can only do so much - there is a finite number of hours in the day and, while we'd like to think otherwise, our energy is finite too! From time to time I feel like a 'bad friend' - there are so many demands on my time...work, family, my parents now here, volunteer jobs....I've had friends write notes to me asking what they've done to offend, because I haven't been in touch. I'm mortified. Did our mothers have these feelings? My mother had a full and busy life, but she was happy in her role as wife and mother and community volunteer - there weren't the demands that there are today - at least I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteShort answer - you've said what a lot of us feel. If I seem serene it's because I'm paddling like mad underwater.
I found myself saying "I'm busy" so much that it became annoying even to myself. When I got the invite for "girls night" Friday evening, I took them up on it and really was glad. You forget how much you need those kind of things until you just do it. It doesn't have to be every day or every week - just once every blue moon. I don't want them to forget about me either. I make myself insanely busy, but I like it that way too. Good luck with that. It's about making choices.
ReplyDeleteKat, I love reading your blog and often you are in my head but today you really hit home. Thanks so much for your beautiful blog. I am going to have to check out Missy's shop. I saw that she was gone from the "mall" but couldn't get much info from them just that some vendors had opened shops of their own. Thanks for being a great friend to all of your "blog friends".
ReplyDeletePeg
What a beautiful color palette over here today Kat. I'm excited to hear all about your new venture. And eventually see what you have done in your dining room too. (But without adding even more stress to your already busy schedule that is.) Here's to keeping your head above water, yet still being able to enjoy yourself!
ReplyDeletexo ~Lili
I know the feeling...not to worry!
ReplyDeleteThings will level out and you will find the right mix soon. Good luck with the new venture...exciting!
:)
It takes a lot of work to keep connected with friends, I agree. We are all busy bees. I meet once a month for lunch with writer friends, on the 4th Monday at the same time and place, so that routine helps us schedule in the time.
ReplyDeleteI think that is the most common theme among most women today. I always feel pulled in 500 different directions and now with blogging that is 501.
ReplyDeleteI reach out by phone to connect with friends when, and as I can. Most of them "get it" because they are beyond busy too.
If you get the chance today pop by my blog and sign up for my BLOVE give away. It will make you smile because it is about different kinds of friendships! xo Diana
I think we all feel like this with blogging sometimes. It can become overwhelming, especially when you have children and outside employment that you depend on. Gotta keep just living each day. andrea@townandprairie
ReplyDeletewe're all dancing as fast as we can, and we all need to understand and keep loving each other....
ReplyDeletexx
z
Yes, I do feel like that sometimes. I'm not the person I used to be. I get tired more easily now that I'm older. But I do know how to relax. And I've also learned how to say no.
ReplyDeleteKat, you will work it out and have some fun and friends while doing it I am sure. My health forces me to pace and I have decided that it is not bad after all and I am blessed in so many ways. God is teaching me to slow down and be content in each moment as I used to be so very quick and impatient at every task. Have a terrific week, olive
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post written from the heart. Never apologize or feel guilty for taking care of your family and what is important to you. We must do what keeps us sane. Hugs! Bonnie
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some sage advice for you...it sounds like you have a lot of frustration going on here and I know that I could join right in with you. It's hard to know you have so many obligations and on top of it, you start to neglect yourself. Then you are no good for anyone.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find a way to make all of your passions work together. Sounds like a dream, but it's attainable, hopefully.
XO,
Jane
Girl, I SO understand!
ReplyDeleteLong gone are the days when I have time to respond to every comment or e-mail, let alone pay visits to all my favorite blogs.
I think true friends understand. Family and "real" life comes first.
I'm always here, whether you pop in or not! :-)
XOXO,
Anne
Thank you so much for this post, Kat! I completely understand and know EXACTLY what you mean. It was so nice reading how beautifully you put it. I read a post a week or so ago on a blog I had previously enjoyed about how rude and arrogant it was to not respond to EVERY single comment and every single e-mail and that why even bother blogging if you weren't going to make sure to return a comment to each person that commented on each post. I was so disheartened when I read that because I felt so bad because I can't possibly keep up with that every day. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this!
ReplyDeleteI think we have all been there and are there right now. Friends understand and know you. We are so excited about what you are doing and I am so proud of you for all your hard work! I love following you on your journey and anytime you need anything I will be here. :) Life is crazy sometimes and you need to do what you need to do for you and your family. :) I love your purchase and don't you worry about a thing, keep keeping on girl!
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
I think it's easier to stay connected with the kids still at home. There are those built in lulls during the day. When I'm in the car waiting for my teen to come out of the locker room, I answer e-mails. There have been several times when friends and I have had a wine and cheese picnic during a 2 hour football practice.
ReplyDeleteI imagine that once the bulk of my efforts aren't kid oriented, I'll actually invest the time in myself to take a photography class, or even travel more, and that's when it'll be harder to connect with my friends.
Finding balance is hard. I think especially so for driven creative people such as yourself who only want to put out there very best. You'll find your balance. In the meantime, know that we'll still be right here enjoying your wonderful blog.
Kat, I chuckled to myself when I read your post. That could be me! I am home sick right now-upper respiratory infection. So I have to slow down now! I'm not recommending to get sick, but it just feels good snuggling in with my book and napping! Take care and answer your comments when you have time, everyone is in the same boat. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a post that so many of us can relate to! I definitely need to drive down and check out your friend's shop - it sounds wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI also can't wait to hear what you're up to - I'm sure whatever it is, it will be awesome!
Gail
Kat,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post as I am drowning in the details of life and work right now and my husband is yet again off in some far way land. There have been moments where I thought I can not blog anymore, not just because of the time it takes to pull together a post, but mostly because of the guilt and sadness I have over not being able to visit friends and respond to emails.
But when I read this, I am so happy for your new endeavors and it reminds me that even when we're not always present in the moment, we can be supporting eachother in the background of our busy lives.
xo,
~R
I read your last post and had to come see this one since you mentioned it.
ReplyDeleteWe all understand. I still wonder what possesses me to have a blog with a job that has me working 7 days a week during 11 months of the year. It's my escape and when it stops being that then I'll stop. So do what you need to do...haha like you need my permission. I wish you the best of luck in your new venture.
Oh btw I love weeds and dandies are one of my favorites. I remember the words of Paul James...there is nothing natural about gardens.
x
Carole
The color of pot & flower is really nice. Pot's design is also mind blowing. The color combination of pot and flower is truly adorable.
ReplyDelete