Brave

Yesterday, as we left our house to go run errands we were greeted by something unusual.  Right in the middle of the road was a young osprey, sitting on the pavement and looking a bit disoriented.  He didn't move as we slowed down, but after we stopped he hopped over to the side of the road into a ditch.

Our first thought was that he was injured, mostly because he was on the ground, and because he was holding his wings at a weird angle to his body.  We feared he might have a broken wing or wings, so we called several rescue groups who specialize in birds of prey, only to find that they were closed, so we were forced to just leave messages.

We did finally speak to one group who said that if we could get him into a box, they would take him the following morning.  We asked how we should do this without injuring ourselves or the osprey, and what to give it overnight besides water...they recommended fish, which is kind of a no brainer when it comes to osprey.

As we debated what to do, I snapped a few pictures, but I did so reluctantly and from a distance.  I felt guilty taking pictures of what could be an injured bird that may not make it, but there was a part of me (and Mr. Tide) that felt like this bird was going to be just fine.  After finding no visible signs of injury, we thought that perhaps this was just a young osprey who had been brave enough to venture from the nest, and was just getting his sea legs, or wings in this case.

As we observed him from our truck, we saw an adult osprey flying above and this made us think that perhaps he was just the first one daring enough to leave the nest.  So we formulated a plan...first we would go buy some fish, and if he was there when we returned we would gather him up in a box and tend to him overnight before taking him to the wildlife refuge.  We still weren't completely sure how we would get him in the box, or where we would keep him overnight, since even the garage would likely be too warm, but we would worry about that later.

I also told myself that if he was in fact hurt, I would erase any pictures I had taken, but in my heart I imagined his mother coming to his aide after we left and him being safely back in the nest when we returned.

A little while later we came back, with fish in hand, and we searched and searched but the little osprey was no where to be found.  Our daughter had also been by to look while we were gone and saw no signs of him.  We looked in the woods, in the ditches, and for any signs of feathers in case the unthinkable had happened while we were gone, but he was gone without a trace...just the way we had hoped he would be.

After doing more reading on the internet when we got home we found lots of pictures of young osprey looking exactly as the one we saw in the road had looked, wings at the same angle and on the ground as they attempted to master the skill of flying.  It seems we had just been in the right place at the right time to witness this little osprey's first feathered attempts at flight.

This got me thinking about bravery, and how terrifying it must be to jump from the safety of a nest some 40 feet up in the air.  And how thrilling it must be to make that jump, even if it meant having to sit on the side of a road for a little while until someone came to rescue you and help you try again.

In life we have many chances to be brave, to do something others are afraid to do, to venture out of our own nests and risk ending up in a situation that may not at first seem that wise.  But if you don't ever find that brave part of your heart and soul, you will miss the amazing things in life, like being able to tell the story of how when you took that first leap of faith you ended up in the road, with a woman and her camera staring straight at you from the window of a big metal thing.  And you will certainly never know the feeling of soaring over land and sea to find your own nest and your own supper.

Being brave doesn't mean you'll succeed in everything you try, you may have to try many times, or in different ways before you can master the things you so want in life, but a life that is safe and one where you have to wait until someone pushes you out of the nest seems so much scarier to me.

I hope you take your own brave steps towards whatever it is you fear and want to master...and just know that there will be others who will help you when you fall and need some fresh fish!

Take Wing and Soar

I want to say thank you to everyone who visited Connie and gave her big virtual hugs from my last post.  I know she appreciates it, she truly is one of the most dedicated animal owners and pet lovers I know.

I have been busy getting ready for an art show next month.  I wish I could devote myself to this full time but I have to fit it in between developing my fine art website, finishing up several stories that haven't gone as smoothly as I would like, and spending evenings at my parent's doing the last minute things left on the list before putting the house on the market...hopefully by the end of next week.

The event in May is a wildlife art show and will feature some of my fine art photography.  So I've been camped out waiting for herons, osprey, and egrets to grace me with their presence and provide me with those perfect photo ops.

This is easier said than done most days, and it seems like every time I leave my dock feeling defeated at having missed a shot, the birds mock me and dive for a fish or perch on a dead tree within feet of where I was just sitting! 

I was reading a blog and scrolling through the website of a wonderful wildlife photographer, whose pictures have graced the covers of National Geographic and hundreds of other wildlife magazines, and I just kept thinking that he must spend countless hours and literally freeze his butt off trying to get that "one" shot.

I want the pictures I will have available for sale at this show to be special, gallery quality, and worth every penny I'm charging.  Something that when someone sees it they think...wow, that's amazing.

I know I have a long way to go, and trust me I'm not fishing for compliments, I am keenly aware that National Geographic isn't beating the doors down to request one of my photos.  Plus I really do love taking a photograph and blurring the lines between it and a painting.  I love it as much as I love taking a crystal clear photo realistic shot or a beautiful room shot.

Photography is a funny business, and there are many talented people out there with cameras in hand.  I think that is because it allows us to share a part of ourselves with others.  To take a moment in time that was special for us, and then capture it forever, kind of like a grown up version of show and tell.

When I do get those shots, it makes my heart take wing and soar, and I know that's how I feel when I see the work of other photographers and artists I admire.  It is an art form, and one I feel so blessed to have found!

Authentic

My last post has been a long time in the making, and many of my closest blog friends saw the writing on the wall.  Like so many of my fellow bloggers, I'm an all or nothing kind of person.  If there was a type AAA personality that would be me!  I tend to assume that others have expectations of me, when often those expectations are self imposed.  Call it southern guilt as my friend Connie says, or whatever makes me feel this way.  As my daughter reminded me in a lovely email, I'm the one who always says "quit worrying so much what other people think!"

Too bad I often don't take my own good advice.  We women are famous for that though aren't we, tending to everyone else and putting ourselves last on the "to do" list.

Your comments actually made me cry, and let me tell you folks, that's saying something.  I didn't cry at my mother or my father's funerals, so it takes a lot to make me cry.  And maybe that's part of the problem too, maybe I am always trying to be so strong, so together, and so capable that I don't get to be as authentic as I should be.  As true to myself and I want to be.

I tell others to blog about what they love, not to worry what other people will think, not to care, and then I worry and care about those same things myself.  I wonder how many of us truly are able to go through life not giving a damn what anyone else thinks, I'm betting the numbers are fairly low.  Do we ever truly soar without fear of losing our way and the worry that we'll come crashing back to earth?!

When I started this blog of mine, one of my dreams was to get my writing out there in the hopes that I would eventually write for some major magazines.  I've been more than blessed to realize this dream and so much more thanks to my blog!  And for that I will forever be grateful.

Along the way, I have gained so much, but I have lost a little bit too.  I've lost time because I have invested a lot into my blog, and I've lost money too because the time I spend trying to keep all the plates in the air is time I should be using to reach the next set of goals I have.  I don't even know how bloggers who create, constantly decorate, and shop for their reader's pleasure are able to manage, I know I could not.

I have a family that supports me unconditionally, they are my biggest fans and my greatest cheerleaders and to say I'm lucky would be like saying the ocean has a little bit of water in it!  But it's time I stop just chasing dreams and work towards making them a reality and one that pays me in cold hard cash for my efforts.

When I started my blog, I was explaining how something crazy had happened to me that day.  My dear friend Julie said to me, "now that is a blog I would read!"  What she meant was that she loved seeing all the pretty pictures and beautifully decorated rooms, but to her, a blog she could relate to would be one where dogs aren't just cute but they sometimes also throw up.  Where houses are beautiful and dusty at the same time.  Authentic life, unfiltered, not retouched, hanging out there for all to see.

I can't be "that" authentic, but I think I need to change things to be more true to who I am and what I want.  Your responses have filled me with so much hope and better yet, courage.  Courage to be myself, to post what I want to post, to follow that great advice that I give to others but tend to ignore myself.

I will take time for myself and not worry if it's been 2 or 15 days since my last post.  I won't worry if I can't reply to comments or visit every blog in the universe.  I will be myself and I will learn that being still isn't being lazy, it's simply being quiet so that I can hear what "I" have to say to myself.  I won't placate myself and think, things will be fine now, and then find myself back in the same boat again just a few months from now.  This is a pattern that needs to be stopped dead in it's tracks.  I need to be who I am, for what it's worth.

My artwork was recently picked up by a lovely gallery, and when I got home my husband said "aren't you so excited?!"  I said "I'll be excited when someone buys something," which is so like me!  I will learn to cherish the joys and live in the moment!  I will turn those negative "what ifs" into positive "so whats" and I will be the only person I can be...ME!

So from the bottom of my heart, thank You for letting me be ME!  Where we'll end up at the end of the ride I still don't know, but thank you for getting in my banged up old pick up and riding along!

Just Around The River Bend

Hey, want to head out in the kayaks tonight?  It's a beautiful night, and we'll be able to catch the sunset!

Look at those trees barely clinging to the banks of the creek...pretty cool eh?

Look, there is our favorite bald eagle heading back home for the evening.  I told you we should have brought the telephoto lens!

Turn around and look back towards the house, isn't the sun pretty!

And check out the heron flying low along the water.  Dang, next time, I'm bringing that telephoto lens!

See these marsh grasses?  The herons love to fish alongside the tufts of grass!

Keep paddling, we're coming up on the long bridges that connect the creek to the river!

Look, the tide is coming in.

It's pretty windy, the little fish windsock says so!

And watch out for the crab pot lines hanging down from the bridge!  Wonder how many crabs are in there?

I love these old tree roots, don't you?!

Last bridge before the river!  How are you doing...getting tired yet?

Mr. Osprey is not happy that we're so close to his nest!

Wow, we've already gone over a mile, but just wait until you see the river!

Shhh, look up ahead, see the heron silhouetted up in that tree?  If we're quiet, we might be able to sneak up before she flies away!  Oh, and did I mention that we should have brought the telephoto lens?!

Nope, there she goes.  Heron's are so skittish aren't they?!

Hey cool, look...I got the osprey, the moon, and that tiny speck (just to the left and a little up from the moon) which is an airliner...all in the same shot!  

Ok, we're finally here.  There's the river straight ahead!

There we go, out in the river!  See Virginia off in the distance...it's about 5 miles away...think we can make it before the sun sets?!

Yeah, you're probably right...not one of my best ideas...we'll stay on this side tonight!

There's just enough wind to create a little wave action...isn't the rocking motion soothing?!

Such a pretty sunset isn't it?!  Look at how it reflects off of the water!

And check out that cloud back towards the creek!

Ok, the sun is getting pretty low, we better start heading for home, we have a few miles to go and we don't want to lose the light.

The waves make it so much easier to paddle back in don't they?!

Hey, don't paddle too fast or we'll get in trouble with the Natural Resources Police!

I don't know which I like best, going out or coming back in.

The creek is always so calm this time of night.

Wouldn't it be nice to just sit on this bench every evening and watch the sunset?!

And here we are back home again.  Did you have fun?  I know I sure did, we should do this again sometime soon!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes for Mr. Tide, he's feeling much better today!!