Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Feeling Blue





Today it finally hit me that I have an empty nest.  As I gathered up laundry and began cleaning my house, I realized that I didn't have as many towels and sheets to clean, and that the hall bathroom sink and shower were dry as a bone from lack of use since our son moved out a week ago.

For the first time in almost 25 years, it was just me in the house, that no one besides the dogs needed tending to today, and I have to admit that I broke down in tears.  I know this is the way life is supposed to work, but dang it, nobody really prepares you for that last little birdie to leave the nest.

I decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I would do what all momma birds must do when they find themselves alone in the nest, so I set about cleaning, rearranging, and embracing this next phase of my life.  And I brought in a bunch of pretty hydrangea blossoms that my dear neighbor said I could have and plunked them into a lovely mason jar that once belonged to my grandmother.  

I know it will take time for me to adjust to my youngest having flown the coop, but I managed to do that with our oldest, so I know it's possible.  And even though he, and our daughter, are both not far away, today it felt as though they were continents away.  I also know that if I still had little babies to tend to that I wouldn't be launching into a whole new career, so there is always a silver lining to be found, even when you wonder where the last 25 years have gone!

On Thursday, Mr. Tide and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary, and for the first time since a year and a few months after we got married, we will be celebrating in a house built for 2 again.  Change is good for the soul I think, even if it comes with a few tears and feeling a little blue every now and again!

Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments and emails about my new venture...at least I can't say I'm bored now that my kids are grown and living on their own, eh?!  

Enjoy your week, the weather is near perfection here!


29 comments:

  1. hi Kat. It does take some getting used to. I think when you work from home you feel it even more.

    Where did your son move to?

    Chania

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  2. I get the same feeling at times....It felt empty when my son went off to college....Less laundry and picking up.....

    Just takes time to get used to it....

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  3. I know exactly how you feel Kat and I shed exactly those same tears when my last one left the nest. Since that time, each one of them have been backwards (and forwards!) on numerous occasions and we currently have No.3 residing in our guest wing/granny flat. Beats paying rent and gives her a chance to save some money. I have no doubt that when the time finaly comes for her and her fiance to set up their own home - No. 1 or No. 2 will "fly" back into the nest again! At the end of the day - this is their home and will always be their home. We are happy for them to come and go as often (and as many times) as they wish. At least by the 3rd and 4th time they leave - the tears are not quite as bad! ;)Sharyne

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  4. Near perfection here too, as far as weather goes although today was a little chilly. I don't mind, though. I remember the empty nest feeling but I have a feeling that you'll get over it quickly enough. Onward and upward ~

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  5. Oh, poor Kat. Never mind, they have not gone forever. They will be back, and with additions.

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  6. Kat, I well know that feeling. CC has a way of returning now and again however so until she flies off to Korea I am okay but then I will cry I am sure. I think your lining is filled with lot of silver my friend. Olive

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  7. Steady dear lady.
    You have what it takes to
    BLOOM in this new timescape



    Aloha from Waikiki, Pal :-)
    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >

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  8. Oh, I don't envy where you are at. My oldest will go to college in a year, and I'm not looking forward to having him gone. I can't imagine when the last little bird flies the coop.

    But I'm proud of you! You're taking matters into your own hands and starting something NEW!

    - The Tablescaper

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  9. You know that I know this feeling ALL too well ..in fact I break down after each visit it seems. Not for long, just enough to purge out the sadness of missing them so.

    I doubt that we will ever be able to live close to each other and I now understand how my folks suffered for decades with the loss of me.

    But we soldier on.. because we have to and because I don't want mine to worry. Lucky you to still have your love by your side <3

    Meanwhile, let the emotions run free. Good for the soul.
    xx
    z

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  10. Hi Kat, I agree with the rest of the group...it takes some time but themn you get used to it and can really enjoy the idea of "me " time. It's really fun when they come home too....with all of their stinky laundry. I have boys so they are ususlly sinky!

    xx kelley

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  11. Embrace change and worry not. The best is yet to come.....grandchildren. You'll love being a grandmother and having little feet again.

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  12. Sending along hopes for a speedy adjustment to that "empty nest!" Our girls return home rather frequently, so the "nest" really isn't empty all the time.

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  13. Oh, an empty nest. There's nothing quite like it. The feeling of wow, now what do I do? You and your husband can focus on just you guys for awhile.
    Brenda

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  14. Feel proud that you have given them everything... to send them on their way. It's back to you now. It's your turn. Well done. A-M xx

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  15. We love our kids...but have grown to love our empty nest too! It's a time of discovery and freedom! Enjoy each step of the way Kat...
    LOVE that image...heavenly blue. :)

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  16. Oh Kat - it can be hard, but also a time for so many new opportunities. I'm preaching to myself as that will be me in about a year or so.

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  17. It is a sad time but one you will come to embrace and love. It just takes finding "you" again after being "mom" for so many years. And, someday you will probably have grands and get to do the fun part all over again. xo Diana

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  18. Yes, it is hard when they have all left, but then it becomes normal and they always come back and visit. I remember after helping my daughter and our son in law move into their new home I cried all the way home. I knew she wouldn't be back again like she had been after collage.
    Happy anniversary!!

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  19. Kat, first of all HUGS to you!! It is a truly different feeling when that last little birdie leaves the nest isn't it! You do get used to it and then you come to love it. Just think when the birdies come home for a visit it makes it all the more special!! HUGS again!!

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  20. ((((Kat))))It's crazy how quickly the years pass by. Ours is chomping at the bit to start driving, and I know that's the gateway to leaving.

    Your hydrangeas are lovely! Thanks for sharing.

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  21. You're killing me here.
    Take care Friend.
    m.

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  22. Aw...Kat, I know this is hard...wish I could give you a BIG hug! XOXO

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  23. ahhhh....It is sad the first couple of weeks after the kids leave! But you will find a different kind of comfort with your empty nest. I did like you, I cleaned, rearranged and puttered for days on end. My kids live close by so they stop by every week. I still haven't changed their rooms yet, but I have plans!
    Beautiful photo!

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  24. Be proud of the good job you have done, and he is able to fly the nest. And trust me, you will enjoy that empty nest!!!

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  25. It must be so bitter sweet. You can always do what I did and have another baby...lol...no, maybe not.
    Still, it must be an adjustment but as a mom, your a pro at that. =)

    xo,
    Renee
    http://casastephensinteriors.com

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  26. Blessings to you Kat.
    We only had 1 child, a daughter, and the day we dropped her off at college, I waited until we closed her dorm room door and then FELL into my husbands arms and cried so hard I couldn't hardly breathe.

    I will share a few tips that helped me:
    -First of all I am a woman of faith, so there was a ton of praying going on.
    -In addition to that, hubby and I would on occassion do a middle of the night WAFFLE HOUSE, or IHOP, or DENNYS run. We would get up, and leave the house unattended and go do something silly like this and it reminded us that we were not as OLD as we had gotten used to thinking that we were.
    -We vacationed WITHOUT the kids. Gotta Tell ya...DISNEY WORLD is a HOOOOOT without kids tagging along.
    We spent lots of time going as a family on Disney trips...pretty much every year. But after our daughter went to college, we went JUST US and it was GRAND!
    -and one other thing...I have a charm bracelet, and I went to a store and bought MYSELF a few very important charms. One of them was a little sterling silver butterfly. I had it mounted on my bracelet for this reason: I raised my daughter to have wings and I did so KNOWING that she would use them one day. It helped my aching mothers heart to know that it was ME who gave her the wings that she would need to use to fly to the places that God would lead her.

    And somehow...that the combination of those things seemed to help.

    It took a while for the pain to stop. And I didn't always approve of all of her life choices. But God was in control. I might have given her wings...But GOD gave her life. And He taught her to use those wings wisely.

    btw...those wings were what she used to leave us and go away to finish growing up... but those wings also brought her back to us when the time was perfect.

    Blessings to YOU and YOURS!

    In Him,
    Grace

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  27. Kat,
    I have blogged for almost a month and can't believe i missed this!

    Happy (belated) Anniversary!!!

    With a hormonal teenage daughter (having her wisdom teeth out tomorrow) sometimes the "empty nest" sounds like a great vacation!
    I cried when my oldest turned 18 and now he's 20 and it's only a matter of time that I'll be thinking about this too.
    xo,
    ~R

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  28. Hello
    Feeling Blue
    I enjoy understanding more about this unique issue. You are very good writer!!!

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  29. I know!....it comes and goes with the hot flashes....that blue feeling....It gets better though....smiles

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